Love Will Keep Us - Book 5

Dear Julius...

STEF POV

Dear Julius,

It's hard to put into words how much you mean to me as a friend, let alone a brother. I hope you know that but you may not since I never really told you. Or if I have it wasn't recent. Ever since you waltzed into my life, somehow I knew we'd always be close, and I never dreamed there would come a day where you'd shut me out.

I realize that I'm harsh, and I say things that later come back to bite me in the ass. But you've always been so gracious and kind. I may seem super angry or annoyed at times, but deep down, I'm so thankful you are in my life.

You've always brought such sunshine: light and positivity, and I don't know if I've ever truly told you how grateful I am for that. Even when I feel as if you're invading my privacy, or acting like a butthead, deep down I know you care and always have since day one in that coffee shop and when you threw out my ugly dresses.

From the way you've stood up for me, stood up to me and stood with me to the way you've danced with me, wiped away my tears and hugged out my joy, I find in you the brother I needed all along.

I'm so sorry, Julius, and I wish I could rewind time...make it stand still because then, I'd look at you and not take you for granted. Without you in my life, I feel a giant hole...a vacuum, and it's painful. God, it hurts so much, sometimes I can't breathe.

I toss and turn at night trying not to think of the negative side of this, but what if I've lost you forever? How could I live with myself?  Look who's being dramatic now! I think you've finally rubbed off on me.

Please talk to me, Julius. Stop being stubborn and ignoring me. I will grovel at your feet because you're worth it. You really are; so worth it, in fact, I sat and wrote you this letter. And I don't write. Ever.

Vuelve a mijo...por favor.

Te amo,
Stef

I set my pen down after writing this long ass letter to Julius and look over at the time to see that it's already a little after one 'o clock in the morning. I rub my hand over my face only to feel that I really have been crying. Sometimes, I don't really realize that I'm crying as I became accustomed to burying my feelings and dealing with them internally, but I know that it eventually it all catches up to me.

"Hey, love, are you coming to bed?"

I look up to see Lena standing in the doorway of the kitchen, looking as exhausted as ever, and I hold out my arms to her. "I am, but come here, baby."

She saunters over to me, and I whisk her into my lap, kissing the side of her temple as I whisper, "I'm sorry I lost track of time. I spoke to Tess for what feels like forever, and then I decided to...well, ummm," I bury my face in her neck as I feel her long fingers glide through my short hair.

"What is it, sweetheart? Is Tess okay? Stefanie?"

I feel her shift as she now has her arms wrapped around me, hugging me close to her as I breath her in. "Yes...they're...they're okay..."

"Sweetheart," she moves to take my face in her hands as she looks into my eyes. I see the worry in her soft, brown eyes, and I realize that I am crying once more. "Talk to me, Stefanie. What's going on?"

"I...just...here..." I sniffle as I lean forward and grab the letter I had just penned to Julius.

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LENA POV

Tears spring to my eyes as I finish reading the letter Stef had written to our friend, and I stand to my feet and head to the side drawer where we keep our phone book and pull out an envelope. "Well, I'm leaving this on his bakery door first thing. We aren't waiting around," I neatly fold the letter and place it in the envelope as I see my wife lighting a cigarette.

She wipes her eyes quickly before taking another puff. "Tell me how you're feeling, my love."

"I'm okay, but we aren't changing the subject, Stef. This feud with Jules has got to stop at some point. I'm unsure how or when, but obviously this is tearing you up inside, you know?" I sit beside her once more and take her free hand as she looks right at me.

"I'll be okay, my love. I just had a...a moment."

"Ya, well, you don't write much, so my guess is that it's way more than a simple moment. It's really been killing your heart, and I know you don't like to be in touch with your emotions all too much, but Stef, it's okay to admit." I rub her hand softly as she smiles slightly.

"That's just it. It shouldn't be affecting me that much, but he's never iced me out this long, unless I'm counting the days he went missing and then showed up on our doorstep," she puffs out as she rolls her eyes.

"I don't know, honey, but we'll get him to talk somehow. I'm determined to get him to bury the hatchet one way or another. Frankie loves that bakery, and even though she was mighty fresh with you earlier, she doesn't deserve to be caught up in it or Callie, ya know?"

I watch as her jawline tightens at the mention of Frankie, and I lift her hand to my lips as I softly kiss the back of her hand.

"Frankie and I came such a long way for her to only behave like this."

"It's my fault that happened. Because you and I just got on the same page with Corey it makes it look like..

"No way. No way Lena. DO NOT defend the way she spoke. Calling me a hypocrite! She lost her mind! Ever loving and that's why she has NO door NO nothing. She wants to be treated like her brother? Equal! That's what she gets." I can see she is completley fired up again which I did not intend on doing and I knew Frankie's behavior disappointed her. "Frankie and I came far. Really far Lena."

"I know that babe. And I am NOT excusing her behavior. She was out of line and she deserved it. We are both on the same page you and me and all the kids know this now."

FLASHBACK

"You DO NOT speak to Mom that way. You don't and you KNOW better Francesca. It is none of your business how we parent!" I yell at my daughter after we had all finished eating and Stef is in the kitchen cleaning up. I needed her to know I was on her side and that I would not tolerate this type of misbehaving from any of our kids towards her. None.

"BUT ITS not fair! I was telling the truth!" She yells as I now slam her door closed getting closer to her.

"YOU are out of line! YOU do not call your mother a hypocrite! Nowhere is it ok to say that EVER. And you are losing your door as well."

"What! That's not fair MAMA! That's so unfair!"

"Tough SHIT! Mom and I make the rules! We say what goes and you get to live here! No buts about it and you apologize to your mother because she is right. That bakery is off limits until you remember how to speak to us." Hearing her let out a sigh and crossing her arms across her chest I didn't even hear Stef come behind me as she hands me the screwdriver.

FLASHBACK ENDS

"Yeah I know my love."

"But lets make sure Julius gets this letter ok?"

"Yeah babe."