Love Will Keep Us - Book 5

Daddy

STEF POV

"Hey Daddy." I say to my father as I had come home for lunch to an empty house.

I was grateful Lena was still out for I had no interest whatsoever in speaking to her right now.  Yes, I left without saying goodbye which I had promised never to do again but I just wasn't sure how I was feeling right now. A mixture of things and I was doubting myself big time.

Was I taking it out on our kids? Was I angry? No I had always been this way but never needed to discipline Callie so roughly, ever. But Lena's kids and Stefanie had proven to be a totally different ball game that needed this, or they would just go crazy.

It was hard enough remaining quiet this morning after seeing Corey had pierced his ears. Fuck, did I want to knock that kid upside his dumb-ass head for he had no sense at all right now. None! And in my mind I decided to pick up the phone and call my father.

My father and I had stayed in touch and were actually doing very well, something I was pretty happy about. Even if my mother refused to speak to me longer than a minute and was still praying for my homosexual soul, my father had remained supportive and pretty understanding. I was hoping he would understand now since it seemed I was just like him in so many ways.

"Hey, Stefanie Marie. How is California treating you?" He asks rather calmly as I'm grateful he picked up and not my mother. The last thing I wanted to do was talk to her today, for I am not in the mood or right frame of mind for her crap.

"Ahh can't complain, Daddy." Lighting a smoke and trying to relax my thoughts I put my feet up on the chair being grateful I could rest a bit.

"Yeah it's a nice place. Always loved it. Did you get that cop job?"

"Ahh not yet. They aren't hiring at the moment; so, I'm working security."

"That's ok. You will get it. I'm pretty sure you have called them daily and are letting them know you are interested. You were always tough and determined."

"Ha really?" I ask, surprised as I smile into the phone.

"You were. The youngest of all boys you have to be tough! I mean sure they babied you a bit but you fought them and didn't back down. I mean when you were a youngin. When you got older I guess me and your mother tried to make you into a proper girl and wife."

"Daddy..."

"No, let me finish. I'm glad you became who you are, just an older version of our little Stefanie." I can tell he is smiling as I take another puff of my smoke. "But what's wrong? Huh? You alright over there? All those kids giving you a run for your money?"

"Daddy..can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"You were tough on my brothers. Not so much me and Johnny but all of them. Um, especially Frank Jr."

"That I was."

"Do you think you were too tough? Like do you think it did more harm than good? Not to pry Daddy at all I just...I'm kinda at a loss here, and I just need some...some guidance."

"With Corey?"

"Ha. How did you know?" I puff my smoke before taking a long drink of my water.

"Because he's at that age. A house full of women. Two Moms. Two Moms with different approaches."

"That obvious?"

"Yes. I saw it at Christmas. You made me laugh a few times because I saw myself. Lena, is sweet but soft. He's running his mouth?"

"Yes. Stupidly. She um, told me the kids are afraid of me and that I police them. That I'm too hard on them. With Frankie and Stefanie it wasn't an issue or even with Callie. But she's saying we need to treat Corey differently because he's sensitive."

"MM, sounds like your mother. She was soft on all your brothers, especially Francis. To answer your question honey...sure I was hard on him because I saw what was happening. I saw he followed the wrong crowd, I saw he was easily influenced. I saw he...I saw that the war screwed him up more. Had I not been the way I was I think he would of ran all over us. Sure, I didn't listen much because he didn't know respect.  Not one bit and he was very stubborn, Stefanie."

"I know he was. I know it." I rub my forehead as I listen.

"You do your best, honey. Do you think you are with Corey?"

"I thought I was Daddy.  I don't want my kids afraid of me, I don't want them thinking I've policed them. And I sure as hell don't want...I don't want him to be hurt if I'm too hard."

"I think Lena said that out of fear and being upset. Your mother said I was a drill sergeant and treated the boys as if they were in my unit, and it was the truth. I wanted order in our home. And you want the same."

"Is that a bad thing? Daddy, all of these kids have gone through something. Some phase of rebellion. Callie...I'm just waiting. I mean, she's had her moments, but she bounces back within hours." I sigh taking a puff as he laughs. "I'm just doing my best to keep them in order, to keep them happy and to make them independent, respectful kids. You can't walk all over your parents. And you sure as hell can't act like you're the boss or in control. Just no," I laugh softly as he does on the other end. It's so good to hear him laugh again as I had really missed this.

"I understand that, honey. I know your mother and I were...well...I'm speaking for her too, but I know we were wrong in what we did to you."

"I'm not angry Daddy."

"Still, it bothers me that I couldn't see past my own damn pride," he says sadly, and it breaks my heart.

"I've already forgiven you, Daddy. I promise. But what's done is done. We are talking again, yes?"

"Yes, and I know your mother will come around. Just give her time."

"I should go soon, but any suggestions? Advice? Lectures?" I laugh.

"Keep doing what you're doing, and try to understand your wife. I wouldn't listen to your mother for anything, and it really hurt her. Try to put yourself in her shoes. Know that she's terrified, and with Corey's dad not in the picture, it could be another reason he's acting out. Maybe it's time you, two take him out, just the three of you and sit him down and tell him under no circumstances is he allowed to insert his authority."

"Ha! That'll work!" I say rather sarcastically which he picks up on immediately.

"I wish I had done it. I wish I had asked Frances how he was feeling instead of railroading him nonstop. I knew that boy had a strong will, but he had a leader's heart which I feel I crushed."

"No, Daddy. You can't think like that. You can't blame yourself. I understand now more than ever about how parenting is all not black and white. I get it," I say softly.

"Just don't let him win, but also, let him talk. Let the boy vent. Keep him busy. Keep him physically busy to get out all of that pent up frustration. Run him if you have to. I love you, Stefanie, but I better let you go. Call again sometime, peanut."

I smile at his nickname for me. "I love you, too, Daddy, and thank you."