Love Will Keep Us - Book 5

I'm Trying

STEF POV

I nervously comb my short hair for the tenth time as I look in the mirror in our bedroom. I'm so damn nervous I've hardly slept the last couple of nights, and I've been more on edge than I should be. Of course, I told Lena it was because of a case I've been working on, yet truth be told, I hadn't told her of this brunch simply because I'm terrified it won't work out.

Honestly, I miss Callie more than anything. I really do miss her, and the fact she finally agreed to meet me for brunch has my hopes up a bit. During the last few weeks I had reached out to her a few times, but she had declined every time leaving me feeling frustrated and wanting to push more and more. It was easy for me to just barrel over there and demand she talk to me, but as Lena reminded me that would do nothing.

My heart is absolutely broken as I recall my conversation with Francesca telling me to forgive myself in regards to Frank, Jr, but for some reason, this rift with Callie makes me feel as if I pushed her out of my life just like my parents did to my brother. Of course, the more I think of it, the more anxious I become, and I don't go to church or anything. Yet, I've now resorted to praying that this will work out once and for all and that I can control my temper. She was a kid and maybe, just maybe I had been wrong. But, I promise myself that no matter what, I'll keep trying with my baby girl just like I had with my other babies.

"What time is Stefanie meeting you, sweetheart?" Lena walks back into the room and begins making our bed. I look over at her and smile softly.

"Oh, uhhhh, she's...meeting me at 10:30."

"Are you okay? You look a little pale?" Lena walks over to me and places the back of her hand on my forehead as I stare at her. "You look flushed? You that worried about meeting Stefanie? What's wrong, babe?"

"Oh not at all. I'm fine, love. I probably need some food after all that wine last night," I laugh awkwardly.

"Yeah, you sure?" She grabs my hand and I squeeze it.

"Yeah, babe. I'll be ok." I say reassuring her as she still looks at me skeptically.

"So, you're taking Corey to the park still later on?" I sigh as she changes the subject and begins fixing her hair.

"Yeah, just thought we would shoot hoops together like we used to. Been awhile."

"I'm sure he will like that, honey."

I nod as I grab my keys and wallet as I feel her hands on me once more making me stop and look at her. "Stefanie Marie..."

My heart stops but starts again as she smiles at me softly. "You're an amazing mother, and these kids are damn lucky to have you in their lives."

I am able to breathe again as she leans in and brushes my lips with her own. "I had fun last night," I smile as I kiss her back, and she wraps her arms around me to hug me.

"I did too," she whispers softly as we breathe each other in. But she soon pulls away and swats my behind as she giggles. "But all good things must come to an end. Go! Meet your goddaughter!"

I swallow as I joke back. "Who said it has to end? There's always tonight, too!"

She giggles as I wink and head on out the door. Why didn't I just tell my wife the truth?

———————

CALLIE POV

Smoothing my hands over my jeans over and over, I step from foot to foot as I chide myself for always having to be early for everything. It's just who I've been all my life, and today is no different as I actually rode my bike down to San Diego Pier Café to meet my mom for Sunday brunch. She had called me two days ago for what seems like the hundredth time, and I finally gave in to meeting with her.

After my talk with Mocha, my heart broke even more, but the real problem I am having now is the fact, me and my dad have been having a really great time together, and I've truly enjoyed the quiet so I can study and work on my photos as well as enjoying cooking for him, something he never asked me to do. I also feel a peace that I haven't felt in quite some time, but when my mom called me, my stomach sank.

I didn't expect to feel how I'm currently feeling: confused, lost and not knowing what the hell to do, for I've always loved living with my mother. Always. And even after my dad was able to take me every other weekend, then every weekend, then a couple of days a week, I began to grow closer to him as well. Right now, I don't know what to think or what to feel. All I know is that what my mom had screamed at me when we had that big fight three weeks ago still sticks out in my head, making me want to keep digging in a little more.

"Hi, Callie," I hear my mother's soft voice, and I turn to see her standing not too far away, her hands in her pocket, something I've grown to notice that she does when she's nervous.

"Hi, Mama," I whisper back as she steps closer. Without even taking much thought, I walk up to her and wrap my arms around her, and she envelopes me in a close hug, holding me tightly.

Tears spring to my eyes, but I tell myself not to cry as she kisses the top of my head over and over. "Shhhh," she whispers as if she knows, and we hug for what seems like forever before she pulls back and looks into my eyes. "Are you hungry?"

"Yes."

"Ok lets sit, babe. I'm hungry myself." She says as I can tell she's nervous and I kinda am as well. Walking over to the cafe we take our seats as the waitress brings us menus ."Order what you like babe. I might order the whole menu!" She jokes as I crack a smile at her unsure of what to say as I nervously play with my fingers and she lights a smoke.

"So how's school honey? Your dad said you're doing well."

"It's good. I mean a lot of work, much more than LaGuardia."

"Do you like the school? I mean more than LaGuardia?" She's asks as I sip the orange juice the waitress brought me.

 I definitely notice my Mom has calmed down a bit since the last time I saw her. She doesn't seem to be so aggressive and controlling, well yet, and I am starting to feel even worse about how I have been feeling in terms of wanting to stay with my dad.

"Well I mean they don't have as many art classes as LaGuardia. So I miss that." I say rather vaguely as she smiles softly at me.

"Maybe we need to find you some art classes outside of school? You think? I mean if you wanted."

"I'd be allowed to do that?" I am skeptical as this is news to me.

"Sure, why not?" She asks looking confused as she puffs her smoke and I again nervously play with my fingers.

"Well, because of being punished. I mean it does include no special activities and stuff."

"Well, just for another week for you as your dad and I have discussed. But a few things, well, a few things I still stand pretty firm with Callie." My mom puts out her smoke as she grabs her coffee mug.

"Like no boyfriend ever?" I push her as she looks right at me and I'm just waiting for her to explode. "I'm a good kid, Mom." I whisper.

"I never said you weren't, Callie. You were always a good kid, babe."

"Ok then why do you treat me like I'm not?" I push even more as I watch her clear her throat and put her mug down.

"Callie, you have known me your entire life. You have and you know I don't tolerate lying. You lied to me many times over the last few months, sneaking around with a boy I had no idea about and getting drunk. How did you expect me to react to that, Callie? Did you expect me to be happy?"

"No, I never said that."

"Then what, huh? Did you expect me NOT to get angry and NOT to punish you?" I hear her familiar aggravation rising which only makes me shut down with the deep rooted stubborness in my gut.

"Just forget I said anything. I still can't talk to you! And this is why I want to live with Dad! Because you still don't listen to me! I'm not hungry anymore!" I say slamming my napkin down and getting up.

"Callie SIT!" She warns as I fail to listen and walk off hearing her call after me.