[Completed]
"It started out not too badly. I thought that I could be a bit more confident if I lost a few pounds, but that soon spiralled out of control. I forgot who I was and what I liked to do. I didn't have any energy to pursue anything that I...
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If you weren't hungry, did that count as starving yourself?
Questions such as these circled in Jin's mind as he picked at the soup that Yoongi had made for him. Beside him, the rapper sat telling him animated stories about his glory days when he played basketball in high school. Jin had heard all of the tales about Yoongi's jawdropping baskets, but he did his best to nod along.
The food that he had enjoyed so much once upon a time now seemed so dry and so bland. Of course it could've just been his sick brain messing with him, but he could swear, he never remembered food tasting so disgusting.
"How many calories are there in soup?" he suddenly asked.
Yoongi scrunched his eyebrows, mouth curling into a frown when he heard the eldest's question. "Why do you want to know?"
"Just-"
"Hyung, you're not fat. Stop worrying about it and just eat your food up. You need to recover."
Jin rolled his eyes. "I wasn't asking because of that!"
The rapper clenched his jaw and his eyes steeled up, but he didn't argue. "Then why?"
"Can't I want to know something without having a specific reason for it?"
There was something within Jin's tone and body language that Yoongi couldn't quite place his finger on. The feeling made his skin crawl. He studied the eldest's expression for a while, but perhaps because Jin had always been such a mysterious enigma to him, he couldn't figure out his hyung's exact intentions. Yoongi clicked his tongue and leaned towards Jin.
"It's chicken noodle soup, ask Hoseok because I don't specialize in that field."
A small laugh from Jin interrupted the tension between them. It felt good to see him smile after such a long time of him being sick. Well, okay it had only been half a day but it was a long time for Yoongi. The rapper grinned along with the eldest, relishing this small moment between them.
"Did you make this because Hobi is your favourite member?" Jin asked while laughing.
Yoongi was caught in a sharp bend. He glanced at Jin who was still innocently laughing and sipping his soup. The way that the eldest uttered those words were in a harmless way, like Jin wasn't accusing the rapper or anything, only pressuring him to reveal a fact that Yoongi himself knew didn't exist. Underneath those laughs lay a whole network of roads of self-doubt and fear. Yoongi wasn't completely clueless to his hyung's tactics. Maybe the others were, but the rapper prided himself on being observant and he knew the various means that Jin tried in order to validate himself. But the old truth remained. Yoongi didn't know the eldest as well as he wanted to. The network of roads was like an unfamiliar city to him.
"I don't pick favourites hyung." Yoongi said sharply. He hoped he struck a nerve in Jin, but he only grinned happily and pointed at his food.
"I need to know how many calories, don't forget that."
