[Completed]
"It started out not too badly. I thought that I could be a bit more confident if I lost a few pounds, but that soon spiralled out of control. I forgot who I was and what I liked to do. I didn't have any energy to pursue anything that I...
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Warning: self-harm (I'm not kidding about this one okay?)
The therapist had asked him why he was scared of food. He had just shook his head and said nothing. Yoongi patted his back, but Jin still kept his mouth shut. What was he supposed to say? That he was scared that he would get fat? That his mind would rain hell on him for the rest of the day if he went over his calorie limit? Or that he feared he would lose the struggling grip he had on his failing life? The logic that he had was so fucking stupid that he couldn't figure out how to explain it to somebody.
He hated showing weakness to anybody, especially to his youngers. Yoongi had to sit all through the session, gripping his hand, comforting him, telling him it was okay, and Jin just wanted to scream and yell and throw a tantrum. But he knew very well that without Yoongi, he would feel even more afraid. He clung to Yoongi as a support. Yoongi was everything; Jin was just a parasite.
The dietician had put him on a plan. 700 calories per day. Before, he had been eating as less as he could, the lesser the better. Some days it had been less than 200, other days it had hovered around 500.
Jin didn't want to eat. He couldn't eat. Eating hurt.
His goal of 105 needed to be hit.
And he would do it, no matter what he had to go through.
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Soup. Something that Jin was so well known for liking. And now, he couldn't look at the food without feeling the familiar urge to throw up. Just looking at any food made him get overwhelmed. He wasn't supposed to eat, his mind constantly reminded him. He needed to lose weight...
Too bad the others were so hellbent on trying to make him eat.
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The food was too hot. Jimin popped one piece of steaming chicken into his mouth and immediately spit it back out. He gasped loudly. Jungkook's loud laughter came from the other side of the table.
They are so much better off without me...
Hoseok nudged Jin. "Hyung, it tastes really good, come on."
"I don't want to burn my mouth so I'm waiting," Jin said, trying hard to not let his emotions bleed through his cracked exterior.
Yoongi chuckled, Jungkook and Namjoon joining in.
Taehyung didn't laugh. He stuffed three pieces of chicken into his mouth, and without batting an eyelid, chewed and swallowed it down.
"What?" Namjoon giggled. "Taehyung, how did you do that?"
The second maknae shrugged, laying his chopsticks perfectly parallel beside his plate. "Talent."
Taehyung looked around, catching everyone's eye. Even though most of the others were laughing, he didn't crack a smile. His lips were drawn in a straight line and he looked serious.
