[Completed]
"It started out not too badly. I thought that I could be a bit more confident if I lost a few pounds, but that soon spiralled out of control. I forgot who I was and what I liked to do. I didn't have any energy to pursue anything that I...
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warning: mentions of suicidal thoughts
"How often do you weigh yourself?"
"After I wake up and before I go to bed. I sometimes also check after a meal... so usually 4."
"Why do you feel like you need to do that?"
"I need to. I don't know. I need to make sure that I'm still moving towards my goal."
"What do you do for exercise?"
"...."
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Everything was being monitored. Every single answer that Jin said was analyzed carefully. Hyungwon took everything seriously.
Jin didn't have any more privacy. His bathroom habits were monitored. Spend a minute too long trying to wash the soap off your body and the nurses were banging on the door, coming inside the room to make sure he wasn't making himself throw up or harming himself in any way.
It made him get frustrated. It might've been weird to other people, but he was the kind of person who liked to take his time with things. Plus, showering in cold water for longer helped him burn more calories.
He was all alone in here. He always felt like he was on the verge of tears. The members couldn't visit him as often as he wanted them to. The few precious phone calls he was allowed to make to his parents all went unanswered. Jin was all alone here, adored by millions all over the world but lonely in his actual life.
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"How did you feel when you had your first proper meal here?"
"Scared."
"Did the food taste good?"
"Not really."
He felt himself lighten up at the smile that was flashed at him.
"Can you explain what was wrong with the food?"
"The orange was too sour."
"The oranges are always sour here, don't worry."
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"Where is Jinki?" Minho asked curiously when Taemin arrived.
Taemin shrugged. "I don't know too much, but apparently they put him in the ICU again."
"I thought he was doing better now?"
Taemin shrugged again.
"You're not helpful."
"I know."
Minho shook his head. "I hope he gets better soon."
"We all do," Taemin said.
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The pebbles felt weird in his hands. Some of them had dirt on them, some of them didn't. The deep pockets in his pajamas were the perfect place to jam them in. He could feel them weighing his pants down whenever he stood up.
