[Completed]
"It started out not too badly. I thought that I could be a bit more confident if I lost a few pounds, but that soon spiralled out of control. I forgot who I was and what I liked to do. I didn't have any energy to pursue anything that I...
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"Where are you going?"
Yoongi's question caught Jin off guard. His eyes were red. Of course the rapper was suspicious about him. After all, he had spent half the night crying and throwing up. Now at 5 in the morning, the eldest was up again, bothering Yoongi to death.
"Bathroom." Jin answered, his voice as nonchalant as he could make it.
"Do you need help?"
A small chuckle forced its way out of the eldest's throat. His head throbbed painfully, but he kept the smile plastered on his face. "No, I'm fine."
Concern was still drawn with a marker all over Yoongi's face, but he slowly relaxed and nodded.
Jin stepped into the bathroom quickly. He wanted to get this done and over yet as fast as possible. Not daring to look at the lights for fear of the screaming behind his eyes to turn into stabbing, he stepped on the scale. He was desperate to see some kind of change. He wanted to know that he hasn't just suffered - and was still suffering - for nothing.
He squinted to see the numbers below him. The blurry figures cleared.
143 lbs
It was the same. It was the fucking same.
Jin quietly stepped off the scale. Humiliation made his face turn paler, and he made the stupid mistake of looking up. It was an accident, he was just frustrated, the reason he didn't really know, but he looked up. The bright lights assaulted his eyes and he closed them shut as soon as his reflexes let him. But the damage had already been done. Strong bursts of light appeared behind his eyelids and they flashed, viciously and unrelentingly. Stars, heck whole galaxies, spun before him and all he could think was how to get out of this never-ending journey through space.
A flash of white pain choked him and a few tears must have escaped, because the next thing he knew Yoongi was there and running his thumb to wipe them away.
"You should've told me hyung..." Even Yoongi's soft murmur was a fraction too loud for Jin' ears.
The rapper must have sensed that because he didn't say anything else, only wordlessly helped Jin back to his bed. The bin was dragged back to the eldest's bedside by the younger.
Jin hugged his knees to his chest. A million things were wrong right now. The room was too hot, the bin was too far and his whole body was shaking. Bright sparks were trying to set him on fire. He couldn't comprehend Yoongi's soft whispers and comforting actions.
He was suffering for nothing. The thought was twisted and he knew he wasn't supposed to be thinking like this, but he was, and sometimes the truth was more twisted than the lies trying to cover it up. Silently begging for the pain to stop, he curled up to be the smallest size he could be.
But his smallest size wasn't as small as he would've liked to be. His smallest size was still bigger than Yoongi's.
