[Completed]
"It started out not too badly. I thought that I could be a bit more confident if I lost a few pounds, but that soon spiralled out of control. I forgot who I was and what I liked to do. I didn't have any energy to pursue anything that I...
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if you want to cry, watch the video ^^
The thoughts stayed in his mind. He couldn't sleep at night. Was overdosing on Tylenol really that painful? Or were they just saying to deter him from killing himself?
A few mornings after that day, Jin woke up feeling a little more weird than usual. He didn't reach for his toothbrush first like he usually did but instead for the small container full of painkillers at the bottom of the drawer. The white capsules were right there. It was so easy to pop them into his mouth. He could just die.
He could be taken out of his misery.
He read the label.
FATAL LIVER WARNING: DO NOT TAKE MORE THAN 12 CAPSULES IN UNDER 24 HOURS
Jin sucked in his breath. The child-proof lid was hard to open. But once he did, he dumped the pills into his hand. One, two, three, four... there were exactly fourteen pills in there. There was a chance he could die.
Take them.
"Jin hyung? Jin hyung, are you awake already? I made toast for you!"
Oh shit. It was Taehyung. He sounded happy. Almost like he was really proud of himself for making toast. He probably was.
Jin felt his heart break. He couldn't do this to Taehyung. Not when he looked so happy and cheerful. Not when he was so proud of himself for doing a mundane task. He didn't want to watch them cry again. He really didn't want to die in a painful way. He really didn't want to spend more time throwing up and getting sick. He really didn't want to die.
"Jin hyung?" Taehyung peered in through the door. His face relaxed into a grin. "I made toast for you!"
He didn't notice the pills in Jin's fist.
"Yeah... yeah, I'm coming!"
"Good." Taehyung grinned. "We're all waiting for you!"
As soon as the second maknae left, Jin opened his fist again. The pills looked unappetizing now, the lure of them having been reduced to nothing. Jin didn't want to take them anymore. The temptation was gone.
He put the pills back in the container and returned it to the drawer. He washed the flaky white powder off his hands. He took the toothbrush and started brushing his teeth.
The next thing that was nagging at him was his weight. He needed to check it. Two times a day. That was his limit.
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Jin wasn't allowed to have his scale back, but he knew a way around that. Hoseok had a scale located at the back of his closet. They were usually in the living room during the mornings. It was the perfect time for Jin to check.
Today, he weighed himself for the first time since he came back. He peered down.
