[Completed]
"It started out not too badly. I thought that I could be a bit more confident if I lost a few pounds, but that soon spiralled out of control. I forgot who I was and what I liked to do. I didn't have any energy to pursue anything that I...
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If Jin had found the headache to be bad, then this was worse. He woke up at three in the morning, near tears. His skin prickled against the blanket as he got up. The place where his teeth had came in contact with his knuckles had bruises on them. Jin decided to go to the bathroom. Yoongi might be awake and spy on him in his bedroom.
Jin had to bite on his lip to avoid crying out as he walked to the bathroom. With every step that he took, his stomach cramped up even more.
Never again. I'll never do it again. Too painful.
At last reaching the scale, Jin inhaled shakily and stepped on.
It was still the same, but he was starting to get an inkling of hope. He wouldn't have to make himself throw up if he ate less and ate an amount that didn't make him feel uncomfortably full. That was going to be easy.
He sat down on the cold tiles, partly to catch his breath and partly to think. Losing weight was not an easy task - especially for someone like him who loved to eat.
With the upcoming comeback, he had many choreograpies to work on and perfect. That could be an excuse for him to practice and stay late at the studio.
Jin promised himself securely that he would never purge again. He didn't want to end up with puffy cheeks or bruised knuckles. He was also mortally terrified of pain, providing yet another reason why he would never do it again.
Reaching into the cabinets to take some painkillers, he went back to his bed as quickly as he could. The worst thing he could do was worry Yoongi.
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Hoseok had started yelling at all of them again. They had all forgotten bits of the choreography. The result was that the dancer had to reteach many of the moves, frustrating him.
But if you asked Jin, you would be able to tell that the eldest was the most frustrated - with himself, that is. He would remember the moves when he did it without music, but as soon as the music started, he would start getting lost. He was angry.
Hoseok was starting to come his way again. Jin could see the scowl on his face from where he stood. He braced himself for the scolding.
"Hyung, I thought you filmed me doing this dance!" Hoseok's voice was clipped, clearly expressing his anger. "I'm sorry I have to say this, but why did you film me if you don't even practice? Hyung! Your arms are not coming in with your leg, they're separate!"
Right...Jin had filmed the dance. But he couldn't really tell Hoseok why he hadn't been able to practice last night.
He bowed his head instead. "I just didn't practice yesterday because-"
The dancer shook his head and waved his arm to indicate that he wasn't interested. "Please just focus, I know you can do it. If you try, Jin, you can do anything."
