[Completed]
"It started out not too badly. I thought that I could be a bit more confident if I lost a few pounds, but that soon spiralled out of control. I forgot who I was and what I liked to do. I didn't have any energy to pursue anything that I...
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"I really think, hyung, you should go see somebody. What you're doing isn't safe. You're not okay Jinnie." Yoongi smiled gently, the warmth in his eyes radiating from him like a cozy fireplace. "You'll get help and then you're going to get a lot better."
The others nodded in agreement. Jimin patted Jin's knee.
"So do you want me to start looking at some therapists who might be-"
"No!"
Jin's outburstscared all of them, including himself. Icy panic gripped his hands, making them get freezing cold, his skin burning despite it. The horrified looks on the others' faces made him feel worse. The guilt pushed him down, tugging on his conscience to get away.
"There's nothing wrong with me!"
Hoseok shook his head as if he understood what was going on. He would never understand. He didn't look at the mirror and hate himself. He didn't look at the mirror and pinch his thighs wishing they would become smaller.
"Hyung, look I know you feel like there's nothing wrong, but you need help. We'll be there for you-"
The pounding in Jin's heart drowned out the dancer's last words. He knew he was being irrational, but his insecurities were too strong. He was just trying to make himself a better person. There was no harm in that.
He was just trying to follow the orders of the voice in his head. Maybe if he did, it wouldn't hurl insults to him, making him feel like shit for the rest of the day.
But the voice in his head wasn't anybody else, it was himself. Flawed, yes, not like the usual cheerful Jin, yes, but it was still him nevertheless.
"No, no, there's nothing wrong with me! Nothing!"
The cold static played his ears as he ran, blindly, to his room. He was running from all of them, running from their fake attempts to try and help him and the fake confessions of how much they cared about him.
His eyes flew open. He couldn't sleep. He could feel his eyelids trying to close, but an invisible force kept them apart, dooming him to over-think about his life. The events of the day flashed through his mind. He remembered dance practice. Yet another piece was choreographed and now had to be learned. His feet were too disoriented to move properly, so Yoongi had made him chow down some energy drink before Jin was allowed to dance. Even after having that, he wasn't really great. Hoseok got annoyed because he couldn't correct Jin without the latter rolling his eyes or sighing.
Guilt. Maybe that's it what was called. Guilt.
"Right foot, hyung, right foot." Hoseok's voice was steady, calm. He was assisting the members as the choreographer walked around, teaching and recording the others.
