[Completed]
"It started out not too badly. I thought that I could be a bit more confident if I lost a few pounds, but that soon spiralled out of control. I forgot who I was and what I liked to do. I didn't have any energy to pursue anything that I...
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Pain. Jin had really learned what that word meant.
He looked around himself when he opened his eyes. There was an aching pain running through his body, an exhaustion he hadn't felt before. His throat was burning. He felt drowsy and weak. Unable to swallow, unable to feel anything in his body past a tingling and piercing feeling, Jin shut his eyes again. This feeling was driving him nuts. He was wasting time laying here; he could be doing some sort of work out right now. He could be burning some calories right now.
But he could barely feel his legs. And his chest was hurting. And the beeping from all the monitors around him were driving him nuts.
Maybe it would be alright if he could sleep for a bit. When he woke up again, he promised himself, he would do something.
Suddenly, the door to the room opened. Two doctors and a nurse stepped in, the latter sighing in relief when he noticed Jin blinking.
"Mr. Kim, do you know what happened?"
Jin could only blink.
One of the doctors cleared her throat. "There was a rip in your esophagus from the purging and we had to do surgery. Does it hurt? Blink once if it does, blink twice if it doesn't."
One blink.
She smiled gently, trying to calm him down. "We'll get some painkillers to you in a moment. Your friends are here to see you... do you want to see them? Blink once if you want to-"
Jin blinked twice quickly.
"Oh okay," the doctor said. She nodded and left the room to go tell them that he didn't want to see them.
Jin felt a little twinge of guilt as an awkward silence settled around the room. The nurse sighed almost shakily, going to get some painkillers.
The eldest closed his eyes. He felt detached from reality. Everything felt unreal, him being in the hospital, his whatever-phagus ripping, surgery... he wanted to get away from everything. Why were people getting this close to him anyway? Just a few months ago, his members had all been angry at him at not doing the dance properly. Now they were all attending to him as if they were all at a freak show. It was just pity, nothing else. Just pity.
Just pity, he thought to himself.
Just pity.
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Yoongi continued hearing the tense silence from the living room. Jimin wasn't yelling anymore. Jungkook and Hoseok were silent. Maybe they had tired themselves out.
The rapper sighed softly, hearing his own breath echo loudly in his ears. He felt a little hollow.
As he thought about it now, Jimin had had every right to yell at him like the way he did. Yoongi knew he deserved it. Truth be told, he had no clue how to act around Jin now. The rapper had always been blunt and brutally honest around the eldest, and now he didn't know how to just "unlearn" it. Of course, they had their moments where one of them were strangely emotional and complimented the other, but that was rare.
