My Hart

Chapter 4

Maya's POV:

We left the hospital shortly. Topanga asked the doctor when Riley would be ready for visiting. The doctor said that she was still in fatal condition, but was making progress, so they hoped to get her ready for visiting by next week.

We all headed to the Matthews. Topanga prepared a special dinner for everyone. I sat on the couch until everything was ready. Lucas and Farkle tried to talk to me, but I just sat there, thinking. Cory and Shawn sat on the side, while Shawn was observing me.

I wondered why they all don't hate me. It's all my fault that Riley ran away and went into a coma. For fucks sake, I caused all this pain. I'm surprised they're all standing in the same room as me.

"Dinner!" Topanga called out. Everyone ran up to the table, except me. I still sat there, thinking. "Maya, you too."

"No thanks, I'm really not hungry." I snapped from my thoughts. Topanga's eyes widened.

"Maya! Get over here right now and eat!" She yelled. Everyone looked at her. She's almost never this mad. Cory whispered something to her and she whispered back.

I got up and slumped myself onto a chair. Tears filled my eyes as I looked at all the food. Riley was the only thing on my mind right now. I think I started sobbing.

"Maya honey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I just want you to eat." Topanga apologized.

"It's fine, really." I wiped away my tears and forced a spoonful of mashed potatoes into my mouth.

I could feel everyone staring at me. Why'd you do this to Riley? You murderer! You worthless piece of shit. When will you learn how to do something right for once? My god, why are you still alive?! Who the hell stopped you from committing suicide? You fucking killed the only person who could tolerate your stupid ass!

I started breathing heavily. I could feel a huge weight on my chest. I'm pretty sure everyone could hear my loud and abnormal breathing. I looked up from my food to see everyone with worried faces, staring at me.

"I'm sorry!" I yelled out as I ran up to Riley's room. Oh god, I haven't been here in such a long time. I remembered I was just having an anxiety attack. I did what the nurse taught me.

I breathed deep breathes through my nose. I opened the window and sat outside until I felt alright again.

I walked back downstairs and finished my plate gladly. Everyone still had concerned looks on their faces. Auggie hugged me and read his book to me. Topanga and Cory smiled at me and made sure I was completely relaxed. Lucas and Farkle tried cheering me up.
Shawn left right after dinner.