Behind Closed Doors // Billie Eilish

Chapter 15

I groan as I walk down the sidewalk, my back sore from my backpack. I regret all of my previous life decisions. Every last one of them. I don't know why I would ever let Maggie meet my mom. It was a terrible idea. My mom brought up the fact that my grades are going down and now Maggie is fucking tutoring me. It's very nice of her, but it's gonna be shit that I already know because I'm not actually stupid. Damnit! God, I'm an actual idiot.

I knock on Billie's door and Maggie opens it. I walk in and wiggle my backpack off. "School sucks! I hate everything!"

Billie gasps. "Even me?"

I roll my eyes, sitting at the kitchen table. "Especially you."

"You traitor! Hey, mom, can you come pull the knife out of my back?"

I laugh. "Shut up, you bum."

"I'm not a bum."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself." I shake my head, moving my shoulders around in an attempt to make my back feel better.

Billie looks at me strangely. "What are you doing?"

"Leave me alone, loser. My back hurts."

"What'd you do?"

I put my head down, closing my eyes. "You're asking too many questions. I'm tired."

"I've only asked two." She sits down next to me.

"Too many."

She pokes my side, sitting next to me. "What did you do today?"

"Went to school."

"What'd you do at school," she asks, poking a finger in between my arm and head.

I move my head away from her. "Nothing. I sat there and did nothing."

"Do you not play any sports or anything?"

"No. I don't do any of that anymore."

"Anymore? What did you do before?"

I laugh. "I was in choir and AP art, and we already talked about how I can't play soccer anymore."

Billie gasps. "You sing?"

My face heats up and I shake my head. "Not nearly as well as you and I can't play a bunch of instruments like you either. Also, choir is a lot of different than just singing."

She pushes my shoulder. "Don't put yourself down like that, Mino. Don't compare yourself to anybody and being able to play any instruments at all is cool. Can you play anything?"

"Uh, guitar and piano, but David broke my guitar and I don't actually own a piano. My abuelo was teaching me so it's been a minute."

"Oh. How'd he break your guitar?"

"It was an accident. He knocked it over and stepped on it. The neck broke."

"Damn. That sucks." She sighs.

"Yeah. It's weird. David used to actually be nice..." I think for a minute. "Most of the time... well, no. He was nice sometimes. I don't know. He tried to be nice. I think. I'm pretty sure when he was mean, he just thought he was being funny. No." I furrow my eyebrows. "I don't know. He wasn't just specifically mean to me like he is now, I guess."