Behind Closed Doors // Billie Eilish

Chapter 47

"I don't know, dude. I don't care what you get. I'll eat whatever. How far away are you, by—"

A loud, indecipherable noise pierced my ears as I turned onto my street.

"What the hell was that?" Billie asked through the phone.

"I don't know." As I grew closer to my house, the cause of the noise became more obvious. Adam and his friends were all outside of my house, gathered around something. "What was that?"

"Shit." Adam kicked something behind himself. "I don't know." I moved to the left a little and then gasped as I saw my skateboard on the ground, broken almost completely in half. He picked it up. "I'm sorry. At least it's not completely—" The side that he wasn't holding fell off and hit the ground. "I'll get you another one. What'd that cost? Forty, maybe fifty dollars?"

"No. The fuck do I look like?" I picked up the two pieces. "It wasn't a fucking Walmart board. I got it from that skate shop down the street. It was a custom board, dude. It costed somewhere around two hundred fifty dollars."

He scratched his head, pursing his lips.

"You don't even have a fucking job. You wouldn't even be able to come up with twenty dollars." I shook my head. "I should beat your ass right here." I walked away with my broken skateboard. Billie's car pulled up on the curb by my house and I got in, setting my skateboard down. "Fucking dumbass," I mumbled.

"What the hell happened?" She picked up one of the halves to my skateboard which was definitely not supposed to be in two separate pieces.

"Fucking Adam, dude. He broke it and he just makes it worse talkin' 'bout some 'you want me to get you a new one?' No, bitch. You can't afford this shit." I huffed, shaking my head angrily.

"I'll get you a new one."

"No." I leaned my head against the window. "Don't worry about it. I got it."

"Okay." She set her hand on my thigh. "Calm down."

I crossed my arms and slouched down. "No."

"You're such a brat."

"Am not."

A few minutes later, she pulled into the driveway of Claudia and Finneas' house. I followed her inside and then to the backyard where Claudia and Finneas were watching Peaches and Shark play.

"Ew." Claudia grimaced. "What are you doing here."

I stuck my middle finger up at her and sat down. Billie shook her head, smiling at me. "You can just feel the love, you know."

Finneas braced his forearms on his knees and leaned forwards, giving Billie a playful look of disgust. "Ew. Don't look at her like that."

I laughed, looking over at Billie as I waited to hear what she had to say.

"Ew!" Finneas turned to me. "Don't instigate it. Ew. Wait. Do you guys like each other?"

Billie pulled her shoe off and threw it at him. "Shut up, asshole. You're not funny."

"The toxicity in this environment is too much for me," he mocked me as he got up and went inside but not before throwing the shoe back at Billie.

"I don't sound like that, right, Billie? I don't?"

"Noo, of course not, mama." She rubbed my back.

"Babe," Claudia yelled, standing up. "We gotta go." She turned to us. "We're meeting my parents for dinner. We'll probably be back around nine. Please don't burn our house down."

-

"Can you just stop breathing for a few minutes?" I joked, raising my eyebrows at Billie. "Also, can you make your heart stop beating? I'm trying to hear the TV."

She scoffed. "You basically just told me to kill myself."

"I did not. I just kind of told you to... commit... non-breathing."

"If my breathing is bothering you that much, get off of me."

"You're taking the whole bed," I pointed out.

"And you wanna know something special? You can take the whole floor." She pushed me off of her, making me fall onto the floor.

I got up and sat on top of her. She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me down onto her. "You have a cute nose," I pointed out.

"You have cute dimples." She grinned, knowing good and damn well what she was doing.

"Noo, stop." I laid my head on her chest, my face heating up.

"Make me."

"I hate you."

She slid her hands down from my waist to my butt. "Now, I have to cry."

"I wouldn't put it past you."

She flipped us over to where she was hovering over me and slid her hand under my shirt, her fingers gently tracing my waistband. I pulled her head down and kissed her, sliding my hands into her hair. She kissed down to my neck and then my collarbone, her hands finding their way to the hem of my shirt and pulling it up a little. "Is this okay?"

"Mm-hm." I nodded and she pulled my shirt off, kissing down my chest to my stomach. My breath hitched as her mouth reached the waistband of my pants. She looked up at me for conformation and I hesitantly nodded. I was still a virgin. Maybe that was pathetic because I was nineteen. I didn't know. I'd always been scared. I still was scared.

"Hey. Are you sure?" She came back up to where our heads were level. "I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything."

"I know." I laughed, my cheeks heating up from embarrassment. "I just..." I shrugged, shaking my head as I looked away. I didn't want her to be able to see how red my face surely was.

"I know. Don't be embarrassed. If you're worried about it hurting, not everything does." She raised her eyebrows. "And if you're just not ready, it's okay."

I wished she could just read my mind. I didn't want to talk about it out loud. "Yeah." I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm just kind of scared."

"Okay." She kissed my cheek. "It's okay." She picked her phone up and started scrolling through Instagram.

I took the phone and straddled her. "I said I'm kind of scared. Not that I don't wanna do it." I cupped her face in my hands, kissing her.