Behind Closed Doors // Billie Eilish

Chapter 52

I let out a slow breath, looking down at the newly written note. It'd been so long since I'd had to transfer those symbols to normal letters. It took me way too long. I sighed, working up the courage to read the note. The only thing I was able to recognize on it was my name.

  hey, Camino. what's popping homie? that was embarrassing but you've done worse and i don't feel like erasing it. haha, love you. if you're reading this, i'm probably already gone. you need to understand that it was not your fault. there was absolutely nothing you could've done so don't beat yourself up over the thought. if you found this, that means you're either piecing everything together or you love me and wanted my hoodie. no, it can't be both. haha. i love you and i hope that you live a long, happy life. i hope that you zoom out of that hellhole that you live in as soon as you can. i hope that you come out to your mom and don't give two fucks about whatever idiotic, wack ass logic she tries to use to literally scare you straight. i hope that you don't let her bully you into going to college if that's not what you want to do. i really, really hope you don't beat yourself up over this. i hope you're proud of my handwriting. i had to write slowly so that you could read it. take the red box from under my bed. it's yours.

now for what you were probably looking for, an explanation. i saw something that i was never supposed to see and something that i'll never forget. alex has something going on that i don't have time to go into detail about. stay away from him. don't ask about me. if he introduces you to somebody named alice, run. you need to avoid alex. i know that you probably really want to know what happened, but you just can't. listen to me and stop investigating right here or you will be dead next. you have to trust me on this. it's the last thing i'll ever ask of you.

much love, andy

P.S. that was hard for me to right out btw much love bleh

I cleared my throat, my eyebrows knitting together. That was a lot. Who the hell was Alice? What did Alex have to do with his death? Why should I stay away from him? What did Andrew see? Was it actually a suicide or was it just supposed to look like one? Maybe the letter was forged. No. There was too much of his personality in there for it to have been forged. I wished I could ask him questions. How was Erika tied into this? He didn't mention her.

I wondered if I'd be able to get access to his autopsy report. I was sure his dad has one. I wondered if he'd let me see it. I didn't want to bring anybody with me to ask. I was still kind of scared because of that dream.

-

I knocked on the door. There were a few noises and then Andrew's dad opened it. "Camilla? Oh my God. I didn't expect this." He held his arms out for a hug. "How have you been holding up?"

I hugged him. "I've been getting better. How about you?"

He shook his head. "It's been tough. I'll admit that. I'm doing better though. I'm moving soon."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna move in with my girlfriend. I think it'd be good for me to get out of this house."

"You're probably right." I sighed, looking around. "Can I come in?"

"Of course." He stepped aside and I walked in. He motioned towards the couch. "You can sit down."