'I had never known how it feels to be lost in an other person's soul until the glimmering blue eyes of a massive girl's met mine. Those eyes find themselves in search of mine whenever mine looks down. Those eyes came to the rooftop at the cafe to co...
I woke up after tossing and turning umpteenth of times when the sun being the source ejected it's rays to disturb me the night past but neither did my thoughts. I kept on contemplating about her.
The only essential distraction to drive me off from my contemplations were my friends. When I am with them nothing occurs in my goddamn mind. But whatever effort I put on or gain to distract myself it only lasts until I get a slight trigger of her by anything around. And this time, by the moon.
I frantically wondered whether it posted my feelings to her. Don't get me wrong, I just become insane when I drift back to her.
Finally, came to the declaration of never losing my attempts in reaching out to her, no matter how long it has gone. I grabbed my phone and made a call to her amidst the fact I had made a zillion of times.
Should I start with a 'hey' or 'how you doing' ? I keep on practising each time when I try out and it results with neither of them being pleasant. On the other hand, what if she thinks of me as a psychopath! Would also gush into my mind. My confused mind confused me way more. With all hopes I dialed her number.
*CALL DIALING*
Like always she resists picking mine as I knew luck refuses to favour me. So, James how the hell are you goin' to contact her?
The voice in me yelled in a sarcastic tone. Maybe she's changed her number, I should get her new number from a very known mutual person. But how could I contact any member of her family besides, I haven't interacted with any of hers. I was just so confused.
A while after I was totally down and felt too low that neither of my hopes made any possibilities to happen. 'Maybe, I don't deserve her,' I mumbled within me when a drop trickled from my left eye down to the cheek.
Never lose hope!
Yet still my mind enriched me with a positive step ahead. But whatever, the truth is out now. Why doesn't luck ever approach me? Am I that unworthy? Nothing on this earth wants me to get back with her? Just why? I was like half lifeless.
As a matter of fact, I'm the kind of person where you could get acknowledged for what bipolar is. I become happy when I'm with my friends and wanders agonizingly by contemplating more about her which often results in drifting off to the past.
But this time after the more drifting off which became habitual and the night incident, neither sparing my time with humourous chatters with my friends nor paying a visit in accordance with the preparations of the Christmas resulted in no emerging distraction.
I'm lost.
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