June 5th 2020
- Taylor -
"Do you wanna push him, Ro?" The little girl is holding Karlie's hand as I lift August's car seat out of the car, flipping out the wheels and extending the handle to her height when she nods in agreement. "Stay beside Mama though, okay?" She absolutely loves having a baby brother and it's so sweet to see, "promise, mommy." She grins and the little girl walks just ahead of us, pushing her brother as we smile.
We're currently about to go into Rosie's first counselling session and while she's oblivious to what it really entails, my stomach is twisted in knots. "This one here, monkey," Karlie opens the door to let Rosie push Auggie inside and I smile at her innocence.
Things have been going okay for us this last week. Sure it has been rough figuring out how to parent a newborn but we made it work. This appointment makes me nervous because it could cause a regression in Ro and Karlie is due to go back to New York for a few days as of tomorrow so I'm not totally confident in my parenting abilities without her by my side.
"Hi there," I smile as I walk up to the receptionist, "I have an appointment with Doctor James? It's for Rosie Emerson." I did so much research to find a good child psychologist for her and this one seemed to fit Rosie's needs. "Alright, if you just go through to the waiting room she'll be right with you." I give her one last smile as I thank her and then I tangle my fingers with Karlie's as we go to take a seat in the waiting room.
"Come here, monkey," I sit down on a seat and lift Rosie into my lap. We have no way of knowing how she's going to react to this but I'm so nervous to see my sweet girl have to relive her horrible past.
I look up as Karlie squeezes my hand and I give her a soft smile, she's really been my rock recently. "Mama, where's Avie?" Rosie looks at Karlie in panic but Karlie just gives her a soft smile as she reaches into the side pocket of the diaper bag. Even when Ro doesn't have her we always make sure the giraffe is close by.
"Rosie?" A tall brunette walks into the room with a smile and at the sound of her name coming from a stranger she sinks into my arms. "It's okay, monkey, I promise," I kiss her cheek as I get up and she clings to me tight, "text me when you're done and we'll meet you guys, alright?" Only one of us can be with Rosie so Karlie is going to go and make herself busy with August until we're done. "Alright, I love you," I kiss her quickly before she kisses Rosie's cheek, giving our girl a soft smile before I follow the doctor out of the waiting room.
The woman leads us through a hallway lined with colorful drawings and murals and it sets me a little more at ease. She holds a door open for me and I smile as I walk in, taking a seat on a yellow sofa and setting Rosie down beside me, the five year old still staying close to my side. A moment later, Doctor James sits on the other end of the couch, leaving a respectful amount of space so that Ro is comfortable.
"My name is Alison, can you tell me yours?" She gives the little one a warm smile and Rosie fiddles with Avie in her lap as I gently run my fingers through her hair. "Rosie," she squeaks after a minute or so of silence and it reminds me of the day I first met her. "Do you know why you're here, Rosie?" She nods her head but stays silent, she's still really wary around new people.
"Can you tell me why you're here?" Rosie looks up to me and I smile, letting her know that it's okay. "My mamas said that it was to talk about my old mommy and daddy," her brow furrows into a little frown, she knows that her mommy and daddy are never coming back but all of the fear is still there. "That's right," she smiles as she nods and the psychologist observes Rosie for a minute, "who's this?" She motions to the giraffe and Rosie holds her tight to her chest, "Avie."
