WALK THROUGH WALLS

THIRTY SIX

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh"

"Damn I am really pissed off. Seriously, who does that? I know she has a personal vendetta against me but damn, how can she cost the performance of all the team members to go like that. All the hard work and she then dares to blame it on me. Damn I hate that witch... Damn her, damn it all, to hell with call this"

This was the monologue I was having with myself after I tried playing basketball and missed all the shots I tried to make. I don't know how my legs discovered this place but I found myself here. I could have gone to the piano room but there I know I would be crying now. That witch is not worth my tears. I wanted to go to the kitchen and cook but I am not in my house so I decided to look for a basketball pitch and vent my anger at the ball but looking at it now, it's kind of mocking me also. A whole half an hour and no single basket, damn I must be angry.. damn.

" Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh, damn you to hell," I shouted again and this time, I there the ball at the wire mesh fence and then layer down looking at the skies. At least they were being understanding to me much that it didn't seem like it was going to rain anytime soon. I just wanted to disappear from there. The place that reminded me of what just happened at the stage and the mocking stare that Jennie was giving me.

They say that when it rains, it pours. We Africans are superstitious so much that we believe that bad things just don't happen before you get a heads up. In the morning when I woke up, I had a bad feeling that today will be the worded days of my life... My monthly periods cramps were the worst I have ever experienced but I decided to ignore it. The malicious glare from Rae, I also ignored it now I am in misery and I am to blame because I forgot my African roots of being superstitious. You don't need to meet a black cat in the morning for this I guess.

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We started the song well with all of us singing our part as practised at the rehearsal earlier in the week. Though most of the parts belonged to the GROUP LEADER, we went with the flow but when it came to the part where I was suppose to move Infront, Rae out of nowhere, pushed me and went to my spot which made the rest be disoriented. The push made me go out of the formation and with my painful wobbly legs, I was so confused. The other mistake was that Rae had chosen to sing the high notes in the song but you could clearly notice that she was not comfortable with them. The last chorus was pitched too high that we straggled to sing which caused us a lot of marks.

At that moment, I just decided to finish the dance with the fake slime I bought out of nowhere. Then as we are walking out, Rae came and pushed me 'out of her way' thus making me fall down and with the pain I was still feeling, I guess I passed out.

When I regained my consciousness, I was in the pink team room with all the members there talking loudly. Then we were called at the judges room where I was told that I had the lowest marks. I felt like walking out on them but there was Taemin, watching my every step. The judgement was done in Korean language

" Firstly, I want to say that I am not happy with the display that this team showed today," judge Rain said while looking at all of us," who is the group leader or scratch that, Rae, are you the group leader ( Rae looked up and nodded) well it didn't take me to be a genius to know that or did it?"
" No" Rae answered
" So how did I know that she is the leader Cha?"
" She had the most parts to sing in the performance"
" Why is that Rae? (Rae was still looking down. ) Let me ask again, how did you choose your leader?"
" We never chose, the Koreans had already chosen her so we had to go with it"  Eugenie said in her broken English which earned her a glare from the members.
" The Koreans include her? (pointing me)" this time it was Taemin who asked.
" No, she was not included as one." Miki said I. Japanese which I had to translate for the judges.
" So which criteria did you choose to share out the parts madam group leader?"
Silence Ahn was the one who spoke out after Rain asked her being that she had also a large part in the song...
" Rae said that the song is originally from South Korea so it will be best that the locals sing it because these others will not pronounce the word well."
" But I heard Eugenie from Taiwan sing the last part." Jennie asked
" Because she never complains and we teach her that part well" Min joined the discussion.
" So that's the case then while didn't Lensah have a part and I member she is African Korean?" Jin asked.
" Rae said that she is too proud and a stupid African who doesn't have the right to be here so we should not give her any part. For Miki, she say I am not good with Korean language so they don't give me any part." Miki said. At this point I was so pissed off that I had already stand up to leave the room but the glare that Taemin sent my way talked volumes. I didn't understand what I ever did to this girl to make her hate me this way but I well knew that for me to survive, I had to show my true talent to everyone.

What followed after was an evaluation which showed :
Ahn 80
Cha 78
Min 76
Hee 73
Eugenie 70
Miki 69
Rae 69
Lensah 65

It meant that I was going for relegation next week. After that,we were told to remain behind Rae and I so that we clear the air. From the meeting, Rae was told that her leadership was really wanting and that if I made it through the relegation stage, there was going to be some changes. All this while, she was crying her eyes out while I just looked down. I was really mad that this stupid girl managed to annoy me this much and I knew that it didn't sit well with Taemin who was throwing daggers at me with his eyes.

Rae was excused and then I remained with Jin and Taemin who decided to move and sit next to me.
" Are you ok Lensah?" Jin was the first to comment
" Not really, I can't lie. Today has been one of those days I hate.."
" And you allowed it to continue like that siz, what is happening to you?" Tae said while moving to give me a hug." From the time little Cai told me that you are not feeling well, then I saw the drama on stage, I knew that it will be hell for you but you know what you did wrong..."
" Hey Min, are you consoling her or are you quarreling her?"
" Trust me Jin, in our family, we are used to tough love. All this time have you not noticed that she never shed any tears?"
" I notice that. Oh, so you want to tell me that..."
" Yes, she never shows her tears to anybody apart from the family members especially, Jimin."
" You people are talking as if I am not here.... Ah, I am tired let me go and find out who am singing with during the relegation." I wanted to stand up but Taemin was still relactant to let me out of his hug.
" Hey, be still, when was the last time I hugged you like this? I want you tell you that you are greater than you think and don't let anyone put you down ok siz?"
" And remember that that Rae girl knows that you are a threat that s why she wants to bully you"
" And from the look of things I think she was about to make you have an outburst.."
" I thought I was the only one who saw that. Damn Lensah, you wanted to walk out on the judges. I understand your temper is wierd.."
" Just like Jimin's..."
" Yes, that's why they are a couple made in heaven but my point is do what Felix taught you.''
" Hey, how did you know that..oh, you heard the gossip then you called Felix to call me ha! And you (pointing Jin) sent Mjungu to cool me down ha!"
" It worked did it? I know that you don't get along with Jungkook but that's the only person I know that can make a worse situation into a fun moment so when Mon here told me what was going on, I had to help out because a sad you brings out a grumpy Jimin which leads to the violence in the BTS house and a mad Suga... You understand the sequence don't you!"
" For me I believe that Felix brings out the religious Lensah that I once knew so I had to look for him.."
" Ok, I am grateful for the much love you guys have. Can I go now?"
" Are we that boring of a company that you want to get away from us?" Jin asked
" No, I want to clear my head from this whole drama."
" That's ok siz, I know what you mean. Go then but don't do something stupid ok!"
" Promise ( kissing his cheeks) thanks twin brother. Love you (hugging him) bye."  I then go to Jin and hug him, " thank you Jin or I guess you will be oppa...." And then I ran away leaving him and Tae who is teasing him with the oppa name.

Walking out, the path was clear. I guess people were inside their group rooms listening to the outcome of their performance today. I wander around before I discovered the basketball pitch and there was a ball at the shade next to it.