The Inverse

- 23

PAT'S POV

Magkikita sana kaming lahat sa banda but they left earlier. And today, magkikita ulit kami ni Agnes after a year of not seeing each other. Ako sana yung personal na magbibigay sa kanya ng wedding invitation sa kanya but I told Coelli na siya na lang. Ayokong makita yung reaction niya about it. I'm not sure what I'm most scared of, to see her hurt about it, or to see that she's okay with it.

Ewan ko. Naguguluhan din ako. Kasi last time we saw each other was after the breakup and after Coelli and I got together, alam ko sa sarili ko na naka-move on na ako sa kanya. I knew then that I have no feelings left for her. Siguro merong konti, but, maybe lingering feelings na lang for what was.

"Sorry late."bungad niya. Medyo nawala ako sa train of thought ko nung ngiting-ngiti siyang humarap sa 'kin. Okay self. Relax.

"It's fine."sabi ko sa kanya.

"Have you ordered?"tanong niya. Umiling ako.

"Order muna tayo?"she asked then she called for the waiter. I didn't even bother looking at the menu kasi I only order the same thing in this restaurant anyway. Pero instead of looking at the menu, nagulat ako kasi Agnes just casually ordered food for both of us. I smiled. She still remembers.

"Why?"tanong niya sa 'kin habang nakangiti.

"Wala. You... you just... you still remember."sabi ko sa kanya.

"How can I even forget Pat? I've never forgotten anything about you."sabi niya. She's talking about the food right?

"So. Ikakasal ka na pala."sabi niya. I took a sip of my water and nodded.

"Yes."sabi ko sa kanya then I showed her my ring. She nodded her head in agreement.

"Cool, cool."sagot niya. I took another drink at my water. Bakit parang grabe naman 'ata yung uhaw ko?

"Sayang 'no. Medyo nalate kasi ako."

"Ha?"

"I mean, nagkita sana tayong lahat ng kumpleto. Nakaalis na pala kasi sila."dagdag niya. Ano ba Pat, ano bang iniisip mo?

Maya maya dumating na rin yung pagkain naming dalawa. We had a few small talks about how I have been and how she had been busy with some web design projects. She's also been doing some musical arrangements as a sideline and I can't help but smile. She's accomplished so much. Nagkwento rin siya on how she went abroad for a project and for other opportunities.

"So... wedding huh?"

"Final answer?" I choked.

"Sira ka talaga."sagot ko sa kanya. Bigla siyang natawa at inabutan ako ng tissue.

"I just wanted to make sure."sabi niya then she smiled. I don't know why she's even asking me this.

●●●●

"Pat, thank you for meeting up with me. I know you have been trying to avoid me."sabi niya.

That is partially true. Kasi hindi ko alam kung anong magiging reaction ko when I see her again. I was okay before and I'm cool with not having to see her. I know I have said my goodbyes to her anyway.

"I just want to tie up loose ends Agnes."

"Ouch. Grabe naman sa loose end."sabi niya then she forced a laugh.

We then powered through the meal and she offered to pay. Ayoko sanang pumayag, but Agnes has always been creative and fast with these kinds of things. Tipong kumukuha ka palang ng pera bayad na niya.

After namin kumain, she walked me to the parking. Tahimik lang kami habang naglalakad. Just like before. Sabay ang pacing, almost shoulder to shoulder, mabagal at tahimik. She would throw in occasional glances at me and I'm trying my best to avoid it.

Nung nakarating na kami sa sasakyan, she opened the door for me pero hindi muna ako sumakay.

"So.."sabi ko.

"So.."sabi din niya.

"So I guess this is goodbye."sabi ko sa kanya. She didn't say anything but I saw her look down at the floor. Then she looked up and smiled at me. Yung ngiti niya hindi man lang umabot sa mga mata niya. I tried to look away from her. Ayoko. Ganyang-ganyan ako nahulog sa kanya. Never again. Those eyes held me captive everytime I would look at it.

"Goodbye Agnes."sabi ko sa kanya tapos sumakay na ako.

"Pat."

"Hm?"

"I know it's late. Pero..."

"...mahal pa rin kita."

Tangina.