The Inverse

- 26

PAT'S POV

I haven't heard from Agnes for a very long time. Paminsan-minsan I would check her socmed, pero yung last na nakita kong post niya sobrang tagal na rin. Kami pa nga ata dun. There are days na gusto ko sanang tanungin si Jam kung kumusta na si Agnes but I noticed that recently hindi na rin siya nakakatanggap ng tawag galing sa kanya.

Dati kasi I would often overhear her talking to Agnes. Madalas naman pag kasama namin siya magdinner, oorder siya ng separate at ipapasalubong daw niya sa alaga niya. Minsan natatawa ako when she refers to Agnes as her alaga. For some reason, I would always picture out Agnes to be this cute little puppy waiting for Jam.

Pero these past months na wala na akong balita kay Agnes, to be honest, hindi ko na rin siya masyadong naiisip. Siguro nga I have healed and siguro nga nakamove on na rin ako. There are days na maiisip ko siya pero fleeting lang and somehow, kapag naiisip ko siya, wala na yung feeling na I want to run after her or yung feeling na dapat ko siyang balikan. Ewan ko. Minsan feeling ko super confused lang ako. Baka busy lang din ako. Sa totoo lang, we've been very busy sa work. Sobrang daming projects and since we also launched our album, sobrang busy rin ng band.

Somehow I'm also thankful na andyan si Coelli. She always makes the effort na i-comfort ako. She would take me out on dates and she would often surprise me. Kagaya ngayon. She bought tickets for the two of us papunta dito sa Japan. I always enjoy going to Japan kasi college palang pangarap ko na talagang pumunta dito. Nakapunta naman na ako dito, but I wanted to come back here with the person na I love the most. We were walking when I suddenly stopped at the thought. Agnes. Bakit naman biglang sumagi sa isip ko si Agnes?

Mukhang hindi naman napansin ni Coelli so I tried to walk faster to chase after her. Nag-ikot lang kaming dalawa until finally nakarating na kami sa Shibuya. We took pictures dun sa statue ni Hachiko. Ang dami ring tourists na kasabay namin kaya nag-antay pa ulit kami na medyo makaalis na sila para makapagpicture kami ng maayos. Pero just as the crowd was clearing, nagulat ako nung lumuhod bigla si Coelli at naglabas ng singsing. Teka lang. Bakit ganito? Nagtinginan tuloy yung mga tao sa 'min.

"Pat, I know we started off on the wrong foot. I know na this relationship, or whatever this is, is not real. But it is real enough for me. Pat, mahal na mahal kita. From the day I first met you, minahal na kita. I waited for my chance and now here we are. Alam ko namang hindi ko mapapantayan yung pagmamahal ni Agnes sa'yo at alam kong hindi mo ko mamahalin ng kagaya ng pagmamahal mo para sa kanya, pero Pat, please give me a chance. It has been a year at alam ko rin naman na kahit konti may pagmamahal ka naman para sa 'kin. Pat please?"

Hindi ko alam kung anong isasagot ko kay Coelli. We've been in this, relationship, as we'd call it for a year already. I know na we only agreed to pretend na kaming dalawa, but somehow I do feel like I've started to feel something for Coelli. Hindi ko na rin alam.

"Pat, maybe it's time for you to set yourself free. Baka it's time that you allow yourself to be happy. And I promise Pat, I will do everything to make you happy. Sabi mo sa 'kin nun, pagod ka nang maiwan. Well here I am Pat. Let's make this real. Pat, will you marry me?"

Is it really time for me to let go? Since naghiwalay kami ni Agnes, it felt as if she's never really coming back. Ano nga bang inaantay ko pa? When she didn't even fight for me. It's been a year pero ni minsan hindi na siya nagparamdam man lang sa 'kin. I don't even know where she is or if she still cares. Maybe it's time. Coelli had always been there for me at hindi niya ako iniwan. Maybe this is the best way to repay her. Maybe I should. Panahon na siguro Agnes.

Paalam mahal. Patawad.

"Yes Coelli. Pakakasalan kita."