Purple Winter || kth ✓

41• thinking

Author's POV

Taehyung didn't sleep the night. He watched you sleep while he kept thinking.
Thinking about how he could help you. Trying his best to solve the puzzles only to find that there are more missing places than the blocks he had. He was surprised by himself, he never had intended to fall for you, he even manifested you dating Jimin for a better mental health. But, love is always uncalled and he was glad that he was in love with you.

"I love you, Bang y/n" he said and traced your jawline. You pulled his arm and held it closer to your chest, making him smile as he lay beside you.

He wanted to ask questions to his PDnim, Si Hyuk who was also your father's younger brother. He knew that Si Hyuk wasn't the man behind what had happened. He was close to finding out the truth but he wasn't so ready to tell you.

He scrolled through his SNotes, following his daily routine, he opened a bookmarked poem that he had once accused you to have plagiarized.

Across this broken window pane
lies a garden
which was once beautiful
Today, has all the roses
withered, a heavy mess

The roses speak, they tell me
and remind me that I am
an oblivious sinner
They tell me that my mere presence
has caused the roses to wilt

My room is dark and I'm alone here
Nobody listens to what I say
Nobody knows the pain I have
I wish I could have saved them

I wish my world hadn't fallen apart
in front of my eyes
I wish, I wish it wasn't me
I wish I wasn't weak

Listen to me, my friend, my princess
I bleed my body
I let the blades know the
depth of my guilt
Because
Today? I cannot reverse the
awful glass love bond
That I broke, that one mirror
Of love, I broke, can't be reversed

When he screamed your name
before he left the world,
I wanted to be there for you
I wanted to look after you
I wanted to give you love,
So you wouldn't miss him.

I didn't want him to take the bullet
He didn't have to sacrifice himself
To save me
My dear friend, please forgive me
I wish I could save you

But then, all I did was RUN
and conceal my sin
That my existence committed
and it won't be erased even if I die

He read it again and again, in a fix. He was so willing to let you know all the truths.

Why don't you remember me?

Or is it because it was so easy for you to forget the one good day we had?

Or is it because, you really couldn't recognise me on the one bad day we had?

Is this the price I have to pay?

He kept asking these questions to you,  in a deep sleep, clutching his arm so close to your beating heart.

He wasn't a coward, he wanted you to find out the truth, he didn't want a relationship to be build upon a lie. He wanted to be transparent with you.

The only thing that was stopping him from opening up to you was the unprecedented danger. He was certain that you would run away and wouldn't stay under the same roof as him, not even a second after knowing it all. He was worried of where you might find a roof, he was worried if you'd be mistreated if you lived with Si Hyuk. He was worried if you wouldn't be able to survive in the harsh world outside, when Byong Chul knew that you were here.