Vault

Twenty-One

I sighed as I took out my phone to message the girls in our group chat. I was always close with Maddy and Katie, but my visit to Raleigh made us so much closer. I had been pacing and sitting restlessly in my apartment for hours since I got home from work, and I couldn't get my thoughts to chill the hell out. I knew the girls would say whatever they thought would help me most, whether that was on team hate Karl or team get Karl back. And that, is what I needed.

Me: I'm spiraling

Katie: What's going on?

Maddy: Do you need us to drive down to you? Because we will

Me: I just don't know what to do. Like at this point I'm supposed to say fuck you to my feelings right? He's into Jessie, that's it end of story. Right?

Katie: He also didn't show up to say goodbye to you

Maddy: And he invited another girl out to your birthday after everyone told him she specifically wasn't invited

Katie: Unless something new happened...

Maddy: Did something new happen?

Me: Yesterday I was on FaceTime with Chris while they were filming for the gaming channel and after they were done filming Karl tried to apologize to me and I don't know. Every time I heard his voice it just made me feel like he never hurt me, while somehow hurting me even more

Maddy: Why did he apologize?

Me: I don't know... I didn't really let him apologize. I said goodbye and ended the call because I thought I was going to start panicking

Katie: Do you want to forgive him?

Me: I don't even know if that's a possibility. I don't think he wants my forgiveness. I think he just doesn't want to feel guilty about how the week ended.

Maddy: He tried to apologize.... That's literally what a person does when they're looking for forgiveness

Me: I don't know if it was a genuine apology! You guys aren't helping, I'm going to watch a sad movie and sulk instead

Katie: Lol wait, if it were a possibility, would you want to forgive him?

Me: If his apology was genuine and he isn't just apologizing because Chris yelled at him, then yeah. I would want to forgive him

Maddy: So let yourself forgive him? What's wrong with forgiving him and letting him in?

Katie: You should let him in, and don't give us any bullshit about how you don't want to get hurt because that's not a reason

Me: But what if I forgive him and he's not done with Jessie? Then what? Where does that leave me?

Maddy: Well let him come to you on his own, then you know he's done with Jessie

Me: So do I just wait around for that? Whenever that might happen?

Katie: Yeah, but go have fun while you wait. You were telling us about your super hot boss. Invite him surfing or just turn on the flirt. Post some pictures with him, make Karl jealous, go be hot

Me: I tried to make him jealous on my birthday and that ended with him kissing Jessie

Maddy: Okay, bad example, but take the advice. Go to the beach with your hot boss and put some pictures on your story.

Katie: This isn't advice. Text hot boss, now

Me: What if he says no?

Katie: Shut up, no what ifs.

I rolled my eyes as I got a group FaceTime call from Katie and Maddy. Oh jeez, I really don't get to find a way out of this.

"Text him," Katie laughed, "now."