Vault

Thirty-Three

I sat in the sand, smiling out at the ocean before me. The beach brings me so much peace, almost as much as being around Karl does.

I removed my t-shirt and grabbed my board, walking towards the water. Dropping onto the board once I was about waist deep in the water, I started paddling. Truly surfing is all about upper body strength, and since I got this board I've gotten some serious definition back in my muscles. You almost forget how much upper body strength you need until you get back on the board. I sat up in a position deep in the ocean, waiting for a wave. When I felt one coming, I turned on my board, paddling back towards the shore until I felt the wave begin to form under me. I dropped in, using my back foot to direct me through the wave.

I love surfing, everything makes sense here. I don't have to think about anything, I just trust the waves. I rode through waves, watching the sun begin to set over the horizon before the waves calmed for the night.

I laid back on my board feeling the comforting feeling of the water lightly running between my fingers. The sound of the small waves connecting to the shore and a distant melody of birds chirping filled my ears, putting me at ease.

I closed my eyes, embracing the warmth of the fleeing sun on my skin. My mind drifted off to Karl. Who am I kidding? My mind is always on Karl. I don't ever spend time thinking about myself and what I want from my life, but I know I want Karl in it. What a sad life it would be without him.

I know that I have an ideal internship lined up, but there are other research hospitals in the country, like in Raleigh for example. Karl is in Raleigh and so are the other guys, but if I were to move back, I wouldn't just have to hope we're both free on the weekends to see him.

Plus I'm only staying on at the firm remotely, so I can still do that from Raleigh.

There's also that house, that I love and have looked at countless times and wanted to buy. Maybe if I buy it, Karl would move in with me. Yeah, he'd have to drive back to Raleigh to film with the guys which I would never be able to ask him to do. He'd be making a sacrifice for me, and I can't ask him to do that. Maybe there's a house we could find in the middle, be able to live together while still being equally close to our work. Unless I find a hospital to intern at in Raleigh, then we could live together there.

Would he even want to live with me? He did say that eventually we would sleep next to each other every night, but I don't want to assume that he'd want to live with me. I mean, we aren't even dating yet, but I want to be. I just don't know what I'm doing. Can I just tell him that I want to date? Well I guess I kind of did when I said I didn't need to go slow, but I could have chosen my words better. I'm going to leave it up to him, if he wants to be with me then I'll be here when he wants that.

I think the real question is do I love him? I think I do, but I don't know how to know for sure. In all the fairytales it's love at first sight. I never used to believe in love at first sight, and then I met Karl. He just came running into my life, destroyed all the locks on my vault, and took over. But I don't mind. Some of my favorite love stories in pop culture; Jack and Rose, Noah and Ally, Hazel and Augustus, Landon and Jamie. None of them fell in love with love at first sight, but they are some of the most genuine love stories I've ever heard.

I don't need love at first sight, I just want a genuine love story. I think Karl is that love story for me. I just hope he feels the same about me.

When I got back to shore, I grabbed my stuff and made my way to my car. I want to teach Karl how to surf, and he seems to really still want to learn, so I want to do something fun for him. I made my way to the surf shop that I knew and smiled at the scent of surf wax when I walked through the front door.

I smiled at the employee who smiled back at me before I made my way to the wall of boards. I wanted to get one that I thought Karl would like. There were a few that I thought he might like, but then I found the perfect board. It was a gradient from red to blue, the same shades of red and blue on my board, and it had white and black design down the middle of two crossing stripes. It was perfect, I think anyway. I brought the board as well as the supplies he would need up to the counter and paid before I left. Hopefully he likes surfing once I take him.