Vault

Four

"So let's start with the first challenge, the last person who puts a coconut in this hole leaves, alright go," Jimmy smiled as everyone took off running.

They had given me a camera this time, since there was going to be a lot more moving bodies to film and I liked helping. I did my best to keep the camera steady as I followed Chris and Chandler and filmed them throwing the coconut into the hole. This was going to be an interesting day.

While we were waiting for the boat to get back from dropping off Jedd I took a seat on one of the logs next to Karl. He smiled at me but didn't say anything. I unwrapped the Survivor buff from where I had it around my wrist before I wrapped it around Karl's, returning it to him.

"How's your arm?" I asked.

"Even better now," Karl smiled.

"Good," I smiled back as I stayed where I was but just turned to look out at the ocean.

"For the second challenge you're going to vote someone off!" Jimmy announced.

I stood up and went back to filming, trying to make whatever I caught on camera not useless. I smiled at Karl as I heard him plotting with some of the other guys to vote off Darren. I knew his Survivor knowledge would help him in some way, that being strategy.

I stayed back filming what I could while Tyler lost in hide and seek, Jessie lost in the swimming challenge, and Chris got voted off after corn hole.

"Where should I hide the treasure chest?" Jimmy asked me.

"Honestly, if I were you, I'd stash it in a tree if you can get it up there," I suggested, "they're going to look on the ground."

"You're so smart," Jimmy smiled as he walked around to find a tree to hide it in.

Jimmy didn't want to climb up into the tree to hide it, so I did instead, securing it between some branches. After Jimmy helped me down from the tree I went back to what I had been doing all day. I wasn't saying a word, really not wanting to be on camera and just walked around filming the boys searching for the treasure chest. I followed Ethan to film him searching, not trusting myself not to give Karl a hint on where it's hidden.

Karl ended up finding the chest first anyway and he chose to eliminate Tyler and then they all voted to bring Jessie back. I knew it was dumb of me to let myself get interested in Karl, he voted for Jessie to come back almost immediately so there must be something going on there. I never stood a chance.

I kept to the back of the group until it was time for the final vote from all of the losers. It was down to just Chandler and Karl.

"You okay?" Bailey asked me as he watched me start to fidget around.

"Yeah," I sighed, "I just got my hopes up when I knew I shouldn't have and now I have to deal with the disappointment."

"What do you mean?" Bailey asked.

"Have you ever been in the super early stage of being interested in someone and then you find out they're interested in someone else?" I asked.

"Ava," Bailey looked at me sadly, "who were you interested in?"

"It doesn't matter," I shook my head, "I just don't ever let myself get interested in anyone for exactly this reason. They're never interested in me too, and I was dumb and barely let my guard down at all and I still got hurt."

I turned off the camera before handing it to Bailey and stepped away from the group. I couldn't keep it together anymore no matter how much I was trying. I am a vault, I always have been, and I don't let anything in or anything out; but I can't help it for some reason. I don't even know Karl and he doesn't even know me but for some reason it hurts like hell that he's interested in someone else, and I have no idea why.

When I was completely alone where I knew no one could hear me, I look a shaky deep breath and did my best to calm myself back down. After a few shaky breaths, I wiped my hands over my face to make sure I would look collected enough to go back around the group. I can't let myself go over this, it's not worth it and I just can't do it.

I walked up next to Bailey and he handed me back the camera without asking any questions which I was grateful for. I didn't bother turning it back on, I just stood there and watched as the vote happened and Karl lost after a tie. He got robbed, and I watched as his face flushed red like he was about to cry. I felt bad for him, but I didn't move from my spot. I didn't say a word to anyone, even when Chris or Chandler tried to say something to me. I just kept my head down and helped pack away equipment.

We all got into the boat and being the last two on, Bailey and I were left to sit in the back alone while everyone else was sitting in the front of the boat.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Bailey asked.

"No," I mumbled, "if I do then I'm not going to be able to keep my composure and I'm going to break down and I refuse to let myself do that."

"You're allowed to be upset and have hurt feelings Ava, you're a human being," Bailey assured me.

"And I can let myself do that when I'm in bed tonight and Jimmy is asleep and no one will know about it. I just can't let myself do it in public," I shook my head.

"Well if you change your mind, you can talk to me," Bailey insisted, "even if you don't tell me who it is."

"Thank you," I smiled weakly.

I laid my head on Bailey's shoulder and felt a tear fall out of my eye, which I wiped away immediately. From where I was sitting, I could see that Karl was sitting next to Jessie and she had her arms wrapped around him. And I mean wrapped around him.

"No one can see you, if you need to let it out," Bailey whispered to me, "I'll let you know when we're getting closer to the dock where there will be lights."

I couldn't stop it. The tears kept falling from my eyes silently and each one that fell I either wiped away or it landed on Bailey's shoulder before I could catch it.