Ongoing Cycle

46

The stir of an engine on the road surprised her and she raised her head to look at who it was. The familiar car was parked on the curb and the person in it stared at her with a worried expression. With her face still wet of tears, she parted her lips slightly and thus could taste the saltiness of them. Of course it had to be him; of course he had to see her cry again, especially when she was angry at him. Backing away from the road, she bumped into a fence. It evoked a curse from under her breath.

     She couldn't stop crying either, which made it all the more unbearable. Turning away and crisply hurrying down the sidewalk, she could hear the door slam behind her. Shit, shit, shit. She hurriedly took bigger steps, hoping that Kuro would be smart enough not to leave his car unattended.

     But he was Kuro. He was as reckless as he could be. The air leaving out of her as she was suddenly lifted up, she gasped. He was carrying her bridal style and turning around, he walked back to the car. Wide-eyed, when she could comprehend the situation, she hit his chest with her fist. "Let me down... you asshole," she weakly yelled at him, in between sobs.

     He didn't listen and proceeded to set her down in his car's passenger seat. Too tired to fight back, she let him seatbelt her, before he closed the door. He got on through the other side and stared at her for a minute. "I'll drive you home," he told her quietly, taking the wheel.

     Not responding, she turned away to look out of the fogged up window. This reminded her way too much of how she cried in the taxi last week...

    "Why are you crying?" he then asked her. She glanced at him for a second and hesitated. She knew it'd be a bad idea to tell him, but she felt the need to let it out to someone. Today had struck a nerve in her, as if it was a reminder to why she had trust issues before. If only Miku was here. But it was just Kuro. Maybe she had to forget their straining relationship for a second and just talk to him as a confidant; that was what she needed right now.

    "My friend... Shou, you've met him before," she whispered. "He doesn't want to be my friend anymore. He said I was boring."

     "You're anything than boring, [Y/N]," Kuro protested. "Don't listen to him."

     "But why would he be friends with someone he didn't like?! I don't get it!" she pointed out in rage. More tears spilled out. Oh, was she tired of crying. "How could he waste our time like that?!"

     Sorrow filled his blue eyes and his hand slowly took hers. She almost pulled it away, but the warmth of his skin made her yearn for it. So they held hands like that, as if they were back to that once happy couple.

     "Everyone's going to leave me," she said bitterly. "I don't think I'll ever get rid of this feeling of loneliness."

     The driving boy parked the car. She didn't realize they were already at her house. As she was about to warily unbuckle her seatbelt, Kuro had leaned towards her. His hands went to the back of her head and she was enveloped in a hug, with her face against his shoulder. "I will never leave you. Even if everyone else leaves you, I will always be here — by your side," he said in a determined voice. "Even if you hate me, I will wait for you."

    She grasped onto the back of his jacket and held onto it tightly. She didn't like how easily his words were getting to her, but he was offering such comfort. She could not resist it... she hadn't had the comfort of this boy for a while. She had already shown her vulnerability to him today, after all.

    She finally asked the question she had been dying to get an answer of. "How could you not make it to our date?" she softly asked. "You hurt me, a lot."

    In his close presence, she could feel his adam's apple bobbing up and down. "I... my father was not giving me a good time, so... I decided to drink. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry and I know this doesn't give me an excuse for anything at all. I fucking hate that I hurt you. I wish I could take it all back."

     She pulled away from his embrace with fear clouding her eyes. "Did he... hit you?"

    Kuro blinked for a few seconds. "My father?" he said. She nodded and he let out a sigh. "...Yes, he did."

    This time she was hugging him, her arms squeezing him as tight as she could. In shock, he wrapped his own arms around her. The minty scent that she hadn't been able to smell all week surged into her nose. "I don't blame you for drinking," she said. "I should've realized that you have troubles in your own life too. It was my fault for not listening to your explanation and getting all mad for nothing."

    "You deserve to be mad at me," he argued. "I wasted your time and made you wait for me."

    "Will you promise that won't happen again? If you can't make it to the date... just make sure to text me."

    He turned his head and kissed her cheek. "I promise."

    Her cheeks tinged of red and she smiled. She had already almost forgotten what it felt like to have a boyfriend. She missed this. She missed him. With Kuro by her side, maybe she could move on from Shou. At least he was back in her life... and she wasn't as lonely as she was earlier today.

     "I want to make it up to you," he said. Curious, she let go of him to sit back down on her seat. "Will you try another date with me, Miss [L/N]? I will not mess things up this time."

    She nodded, knowing she had to give this another chance. "Okay."

    He grinned at her and the view of it was breathtaking. "It will be better, too. It won't be a regular, old restaurant date this time."