When you smile

Prologue

I collapse on the bathroom floor, the words echoing in my mind: "He's his boyfriend." The weight of those words hits me like a punch to the gut, and I double over, emptying the contents of my stomach onto the tiled surface. I lie there, feeling lifeless and drained, unable to lift my head from the cold toilet seat.

My body feels disconnected, as if it no longer belongs to me. Numbness spreads through every inch of my skin, erasing any sensation of pain. I glance down at my arms, observing the bruises and the stains on my clothes, but even those don't evoke any real physical discomfort. My face and shirt are soaked, but I lack the energy to even close the bathroom door and hide this mess. The stench hangs in the air, and I can't determine if the liquid dripping down my neck is blood, sweat, or urine.

"I saw them making out in the bathroom," their faces materialize in my mind's eye. The disgust in their eyes, treating me like a discarded garbage bin, something to be thrown away and forgotten.

But that wasn't just "making out." I recall his face pressed against mine, my arm pinned against the wall, and his lips... The memory twists my stomach once more, causing me to retch and vomit again, my body betraying me.

Time slips away, and I lose track of how long I've been lying here. I question whether I have the strength to get up at all. What's the point? What's left for me now? Everyone knows the truth about what he does, and I can't summon the courage to stop him. So why should I bother getting up? To endure it all over again, to be his plaything and a receptacle for others' garbage?

If only I could close my eyes and cease to exist, no more hiding, no more secrets, no more pain, no more disappointments, and above all, no more Vikram. How serene and peaceful that would be!