𝑅𝑖𝑣𝑎𝑙 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 ♾ k. sakusa

27. Unconscious

That day when you went back home, you couldn't stop thinking about Sakusa. That dream surely ruined you and your feelings about Sakusa.

But it made one thing clear.

You loved him back then, and still do.

But it also made you frustrated, it clouded your mind at the thought of the two of you together. He confessed before that he loved you in middle school, but after you left him for your passion, it convinced you. He'd never see me that way again.

And it was the exact same thought he had. He didn't think you'd ever see him that way. After you left him for almost two years to focus on your passion, it convinced him. She'd never see me that way.

Which led to both of you to think the same thing.

"We could never."

•-•

That day when you went back home, he went back to Tokyo without telling you. And when you texted him asking why he left without saying goodbye or telling you first, all he told you was, "My dad asked if I wanted to go back home today with him, so I just said yes."

Of course it made you upset, how could he have left without saying goodbye at least? Did he not care about you enough to even tell you he was going back home already?

Then it hit you, he must've felt the same way when I left him.

It crushed you, now knowing how it felt. How he felt for two years when you abandoned him.

Did he want me to feel the same way? You asked yourself.

But we made up, maybe he just needed to clear his mind from this hectic week. You managed to convince yourself.

Sighing you entered your bedroom, plopping yourself on your bed face first. You didn't feel like talking to anyone, not even the twins.

Feeling lost in your thoughts you fell asleep in that position. Finally resting after traveling for hours in your car.

•-•

For the rest of summer which was only less then a month left, you stayed at home. Staying and spending time with Tenma before he had to go back to college after summer break ended.

You told him about your school, summer, and how volleyball was going. He also told you about his struggles and new passions he found in college, it was hard watching him talk about other things. As he grew away from volleyball which he was so passionate about in high school.

It made you think, what if you lost interest in volleyball one day? What if one day you found something better, something that you loved more then volleyball?

But you decided to ignore that and listened to Tenma and all his new adventures he's been through. He told you varies stories about college and all the new people he got to meet.

It made you excited for what life was after you graduate and moved on in life.

But when you weren't with Tenma, and you were alone anywhere. You couldn't stop thinking about him, about Sakusa Kiyoomi.

Trying to collect your thoughts and feelings you ignored and rejected anyone who asked to hang out or do something.

But at the end you already knew your feelings towards him. It was pointless to stress over it more but found yourself doing so anyways.

Just the thought of him made you blush somehow, it was unexpected and unpredictable. And somehow you found yourself thinking about him unconsciously all the time, from when you're just laying in bed or showering, or just scrolling on your phone doing nothing.

He was everywhere, you missed him. His smile, chuckle, laugh, his annoying cocky remarks.

But most importantly, the feeling he gave you when he was in your presence.

How could one person make you feel this strong of an emotion? It was like a drug.

Stop doing this to me Sakusa Kiyoomi.
It makes me freak out all the time.
But still I find myself,
Wondering if you have the same thoughts about me,
Wondering if you still feel the same way for me,
Because if I ever found out you didn't,
If you loved someone else,
If I ever heard those words come out of your mouth,
That you didn't love me,
That you loved someone else,
My heart wouldn't be able to stand it.

I've fallen for you once again,

Sakusa Kiyoomi.

ꨄ

"𝚈𝚎𝚊𝚑, 𝚠𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 born to be alone. But why are we still looking for love?"

-Lovesick Girls