Petrichor

♡︎ꪀ𝓲ꪀꫀ𝓽ꫀꫀꪀ♡︎

❥☔︎︎❥
  If you receive this, please don't crumple it up after you find out who wrote this. I am very sorry for everything that I caused, none of your guys deserved it. I'm trying to make amends and to do so, I am hosting a small event for us all to come together. Please come, let me apologize, that's all what I am asking for. The event starts at 3 P.M. on July 3rd.
-Carmen
❥☔︎︎❥

I give my owl the four letters as I sit back on my desk chair.

I hope they come.

The past couple of gloomy days made me realize that I had to change something, that I had to do something. They can't be mad at me forever, I think. I used to think that friends and lovers weren't necessary, that it was just a myth made up by happy people. Being isolated helped me realized that I was really wrong.

♡︎☔︎︎♡︎☔︎︎♡☔︎︎︎♡︎☔︎︎♡︎

I rest my chin on the palm of my hands as the clock ticks. I look over to it as I sigh.

4:30 P.M.

It reads.

I stare at the pastries that sits lonesome on the table as I rethink of my life choices. I thought that they would have arrived by now, joking with me that they all took a nap and forgot about it or something. I kept telling myself that at least one would come, eventually at least.

Maybe if I had told them how sorry I was, maybe one would have come. Not one, not even my brother showed up. I was and am a shit person, I get it, but couldn't they at least try to hear me out?

I'm trying my best but how can I succeed if they don't even give me a chance?

In a fit of rage, I knock over the cutlery off of the table. They all shatter on the ground as the pastries splat onto the wooden floor. I hear my mum walk towards the dining room as the sound of shattering glass stops. I stare at the shattered glass and messy frosting as she leans against the dining room entrance.

"Carmen, did they not come yet?"

My mum says from outside of the dining room as I stare at the clock again.

I shake my head as I stand up.

"They won't come, I guess."

I say as I walk away from the dining room.

I think about all of the things I could have done as I walk up the stairs.

Maybe if I told them that I had cake, they would have come.

Cyrus is clearly home, I can hear him talk to one of his friends in his room. The feeling of shame and hopelessness spreads as I hear Cyrus chuckle from his room.

I close my eyes as I let the tears fall. I walk into my room before shutting my door gently. I slide my back against the door as I cry. I cover my mouth as I sob quietly as I can, not wanting to be heard by Cyrus who is next doors. I let it all out, everything from February to July.

My own brother didn't even come.

I stand up through blurry vision as I rummage through my room.

I have to get out of here.

I empty out my piggy bank and jewelry box, trying to collect everything that has value. My room grows into a mess as I empty out everything.

"Carmen?"

I hear my mum call out from the bottom of the stairs.

I refuse to answer back as I shove my stuff in a large backpack.

Some of my clothes are on the floor as some of my makeup still remains on my vanity table. I am rushing, I have to get out of here as quickly as possible.

I can't be here, I have to leave.

I catch myself in the mirror. My mascara is smudged. My eyes are slightly red from the crying, making me look more like a mess.

Don't come looking for me, bye.

I write on a small sticker note before sticking it onto the wall.

I walk away from the note, towards my closet. I go on my tippy toes as I rummage through my closet to collect more valuable items. Feeling lucky, I spot another jewelry box. As I take out the jewelry box from the back of the shelf, I accidentally knock over a box full of pictures from the top of my closet. Pictures sprawl onto the floor as I shove the jewelry box into my backpack. I don't bother to pick them up, I don't have much time left. I stare at the pictures for a brief moment. Most of the pictures are silly pictures of Cyrus or Adelph and I. A picture of Adelph and I smiling during our first year is directly on the floor below me, so I can't help but stare at it.

I wipe my tear stained face with my hands as I look up, forcing myself away from the picture of Adelph and I. I look around my messy room through teary vision. My bed is a mess and my desk has spilled ink all over it. My vanity looks more bland as most of my makeup are in my backpack. Pictures are spread all over the floor, along with some clothes. My glass cigarette tray that was filled with burnt down cigarettes is knocked over onto the ground, it is shattered.

This is it.

I climb out of my window as I sling the backpack over my shoulder. Unfortunately, I am on the second floor so it was not easy for me to escape. I walk out of the gates of my house, making me pass by the Malfoy manor. The July wind collides against my face as I walk fast. I smoke a cigarette as I try to get away from this area as fast as I possibly can.

"Carmen, how are you doing?"

I hear Narcissa say as she waters her roses that are in front of the Malfoy Manor gate.

"Good, how about you?"

I ask, not wanting to be rude.

Her smile slowly drops down as she looks at my smudged mascara.

"Good, thanks for asking."

She replies.

"Good."

I say before walking away.