Petrichor

♡︎𝓽᭙ꫀꪀ𝓽ꪗ 𝘴𝓲᥊♡︎

TW: brief mentioning of cutting, I placed a ' ⚠︎︎' mark before and after the triggering events, skip if you need to. (By the way, she doesn't do it, she just looks at her scars.)

"Here, I thought that you would have wanted this."

Draco says as he hands me a box.

"Thanks."

I simply reply before he walks away.

Adelph is sitting next to me on the bed, watching me. It feels weird to be around her, after all, she did stray away from me for a couple of months.

"Can I help you?"

I ask, not in a rude or soft tone, just neutral.

"No, you're good."

She says with a small smile.

I don't say a word as I begin to stand up. I walk towards my room with the box in my hand. No one follows me, Adelph just watches from afar.

I shut the door to my room before placing the box on top of my vanity. My vanity went back to normal, everything that used to be there is now there. My room was clean when I arrived back home, they all must have cleaned it.

I catch my reflection in the mirror. I get lost in my reflection, nothing good or bad, I just feel lost. Nothing makes sense to me, I was invisible to them for almost five months and now they see me. They all apologized to me multiple times but I never believed one of them. It feels like they are playing this cruel joke on me.

A tear slips down my eye as I stare at my reflection. I feel so messy, so lost. I let my tears drop to the floor as I just stare at myself.

"Carmen?"

I hear Adelph call out from the hallway.

"I'm here."

I calmly say.

I messily wipe my tears, smudging my mascara slightly. Adelph comes into my room right when I clean the tears away.

"Is everything alright?"

She asks.

"Yeah."

I say before walking away.

☾♡︎☔︎︎♡︎☽
Adelph watches as Carmen walks down the stairs. She sighs as she thinks about Carmen. She knows that Carmen was crying, her mascara was messy after all.

Adelph walks back to the room that is next to Carmen's. Ezra looks at her from the table as she walks into Cyrus's room.

"How is Carmen?"

Ezra asks.

Cyrus, Blaise, and Draco began to pay attention to Adelph as she walks towards them.

"She's not okay."

Adelph says.

"Is she hurt?"

Cyrus asks.

"What do you think, Cyrus?"

She says.

Everybody looks down with shame. Everybody felt guilty, even Blaise, even though he wasn't the one who caused the harm. The only reason why Blaise felt guilty was because he did not tell Draco to loosen up about Carmen. He thought that Carmen was acting more quiet than usual a couple of months ago, yet he did not want to interfere. It wasn't his fault, but it did make him feel incredibly guilty.

"She just has to get used to us again. It might take some time, but it will be all worth it again."

Ezra says as his hands intertwines with Adelph's.

"I know, it's just.. I wish that I could make it go away, you know? We all caused this, yet we can't really solve it like magic."

She says.
☾♡︎☔︎︎♡︎☽

I drink my tea in the garden, enjoying the atmosphere. I inhale the smell of the after rain air with a small smile, these small stuff makes me feel better. Petrichor, they call the smell of the air after it rains. It only happens in warm weather, petrichor.

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I set my tea cup to the side of the roofed ground as I glance at my left wrist. I'm not proud of what I did during my time at the cabin, it's not something good. I trace my nail against the thin scar, observing how well it healed. Cutting my skin like paper was never the best solution to my problems, but it did feel like it for a moment. I regret what I did, it has been weeks yet the wounds won't fully heal. I'm now left with this prominent scar that will most likely remain for a long time.
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"Carmen?"

My mum calls out.

"What are you doing here? Sitting on the ground?"

She asks.

"Enjoying the air."

I reply as I look at the garden.

"You used to do this a lot when you were a child."

She says.

I look at her, observing her as she stares at me.

"You're friends are upstairs."

She says, trying to get me back inside, away from the dirt and mud.

"Right."

I say.

"You should maybe... get inside?"

She says.

"They're not looking for me, I don't have to."

I say.

The sound of footsteps coming towards us is heard. I look out, facing away from my mum again as the footsteps comes closer.

"Did you see Carmen?"

Cyrus asks.

"She's right here."

My mum says all chirpy.

"We panicked for a moment there, Carmen."

Cyrus says.

"I'm not going to run away again, if that's what you're so worried about."

I say as I stand up with my tea cup.

My mum takes the tea cup with a smile. She nods her head towards Cyrus, telling me to go to him. I follow him as he begins to head towards the stairs.

I never fully got over the stairs incident with Delphine. Anytime I am with someone near the stairs, I feel the wave of panic I felt that night. I feel like I can fuck up anything near stairs, just like how I did that night.

"So... What tea did you drink?"

Cyrus asks as we walk up the stairs.

I keep my distance, at least five steps away from Cyrus as we walk up the stairs. I have been keeping my distance since that night. Back at Hogwarts, I used to wait for the crowd past before walking down or up the stairs, even if they were strangers.

"Chamomile."

I reply.

"Was it good?"

He asks as he arrive at the second floor.

He waits for me from there as I walk up. He has a soft smile and an apologetic look in his eyes as he waits for me.

"Sure."

I reply.