Mistake? (Germancest)

Chapter 19

(Gilbert's Pov)

(Past Prucan)

*Trigger Warning* Suicide*

Saying 'ex-girlfriend' made goosebumps form on my arms and my mouth dry. Maddie.I don't even deserve to call her by her nickname.

Madeline Williams was a shy girl and often not noticed because the attention went to her twin brother,Alfred. We met in middle school after I yelled at some kids who were picking on her. After that we became inseparable.

During the 8th grade dance I asked her out and she 'surprisingly' said yes.Everything was going perfectly and then 10th grade everything change. I started to miss being friends with Madeline, I wanted to be like that again and not be together. So, I broke up with her the niceness way I can, via friend. Yes, it was a dick move, but I made Antonio break up with her for me. I couldn't bear to see her sad face.

The next week I was informed by Francis, who was also her friend, that she committed suicide last night. I couldn't stop the tears that escaped from my eyes as my whole class stared at my in wonder, for they didn't know. I ran out of school, not caring about skipping or the punishment I was going to get.

I didn't love her like a girlfriend when she died, but I that doesn't mean I didn't love her at one point. I don't love her anymore and I wouldn't again. I don't even think of her as my best friend anymore because no best friend would drive their friend to suicide.

That day I found out she died was the first day I drank beer and the first day I got drunk. Now, everytime I drink beer or eat pancakes I think of her. I don't deserve her love and she doesn't deserve mine.

__

"I'm going to be an uncle!" Francis cheered as he walked in my house.He wore a big bright smile that went from ear to ear.I gave him the keys to my house so he could come in anytime, same goes from Antonio. I'm really starting to regret it.

"Are you drunk cause you don't have any brothers or sisters?" I asked him. He's done this before but instead he said he's a father with Arthur's non-existent kid.

"No, it's because you're going to be a father!" He sang as he strolled around the living room like he was dancing.

I could feel myself blush and my heart beated in my head. I looked over at Monica who's blue eyes were wide. How did he find that out? The only person who knew was my grandpa and I am damn sure he isn't a gossip. Francis is going to tell everyone, knowing him.

"What makes you think that?" Monica piped in as she slowly sat up.

"I heard you too talking." He smirked and he grabbed a red wine out of my fridge.

"Let's celebrate!" He yelled as he opened the wine and poured it in two wine glasses.

"How?" I asked.

"I put my head up to the door," He walked over to us with the glasses in his hands,"Antonio also heard."

"Dammit." Monica muttered under her breath, a light blush ran across her face, and she was looking down in her lap, ashamed.

"Have you told anyone?" I questioned. I was surprisingly serious, which was unlike me. Most days I would tell Francis that I fucked a girl, but today I was terrified that he'll tell anyone about this. The Dean could find out and I could get into serious trouble.

"No, but Antonio probably told told Chiara." He gave me the wine.

"Tell them not to!" Monica said with aggressive tone, but I could also hear hints of anxiety.

"Why?" He sipped the red wine.

"I could get in trouble by the Dean!" I yelled. His face looked shocked at my anger. Honestly, even I was shocked at my tone.

I bite my bottom lip and I tapped the floor, trying not to think of any bad scenarios. My face was paint red, either from anger or fear.

It was both.

"Fine,I wouldn't," He begun,"But, you can't hide it forever."

He was right. One day will have to tell people. I was frightened of that day, the day I tell people I'm going to be a dad. Most will laugh, thinking it's a joke, but they will start to understand. I'll have a son I could play video games with.I'll always beat him and shove it in his face.Or he might want to play Barbie dolls,I'll be fine with that,I'll be the most sassiest barbie ever.Or a daughter that wants to play princesses with me. She came dress up as the beautiful princess and I'll be the king. Or if she wants to be a king that would be fine then I'll be the beautiful princess with lipstick and a dress on.

I swear I'll be the best dad ever.