Chasing Secrets✓

79.

Amara

There were so many great opportunities to express how I felt tonight, but every time I go to confront the situation, Lucien started talking about a future with just the two of us and how much he wants to explore the world with me. I decided to leave the news until tomorrow when he was sober. After we had our business meeting at the gallery, we dined at Fiorello's, as promised. By the end of the night he was very drunk.

When we came back from our dinner, I had to practically balance carrying my tank and my drunk fiancé to our room since he couldn't stand on his own two feet. I rather the whole hearted and goofy side of my fiancé more than his serious side any day.

I blew out a breath as Lucien stumbles forward, planting his butt on the steps. I groan really loudly as my waist came in contact with the ledge and I fall onto Lucien's lap.

"I think the champagne is getting to you Lu," I grumble.

"Lift me?" he batts his red eyes in attempt to have me carry him up the stairs. I stare at him like he's just grown another head.

"Are you crazy? I can barely lift a sack of flour. The difference is, you weigh a ton more."

He pouts and I couldn't help but chuckle. In an instant, his hands glide across and behind my waist, lifting me up and into his chest. Slowly but surely, he takes two steps each up the stairs, trying to maintain his balance and not wanting to throw me down. As if he sensed my gaze, he slightly tilted his head down to stare at me. Even beneath his suit, I felt his body temperature, it was always so warm and soft. I continue to admire him all the way to the room. He opens the door with one hand and walks in to place me on the bed before turning back to close the door.

"Today was a great day, despite our little fight this morning," I admit while I started to unhook my heels.

He goes over to his closet and starts undoing his tie. "Yeah? You were amazing when we met up with the buyers. It really showed me how independent you are and how much you don't need me. I'm sorry for always doubting your abilities."

My feet padded across the cold floor as I inch towards him. "Thank you, and I do need you, just not for everything," I say.

He flashes me a smile and leans his forehead in to rest against mine. I wrap my arms around his waist and pulled him tightly in.

"At times I wonder what I did to deserve you Amara Belle," his words barely crossed a whisper. I gaze up at him, my lips pressing into a thin line. He notices my unease and narrows his eyebrows.

"Did I say something wrong?" his eyes softens. He seemed to be sober now, as if someone who drank a whole bottle of champagne could ever get sober in such a short time. I couldn't delay it any longer, but I felt like it wasn't the right time to tell him yet. There was so many things he didn't know, so many things I had to tell him, while I still could.

I shake my head. "No you're fine, I promise."

"And we're okay aren't we?" he prompts.

"Of course," I say with a small voice, rubbing his lower back in a soothing manner.

"Then why does it sound like you have something to tell me but you're holding back?" It was like he knew already and I didn't even have to explain. Or it was just the way he knew my thoughts, how I felt, like we were tied to the hip.

I couldn't deny the knot coiling in my stomach. I detach myself from him and slowly walk to the edge of the bed to sit, feeling as it was the best way to tell him. I pat the seat next to me and he struts to my side.

I swallow hard when I saw the look in his eyes, but told myself it was time to let the words slip away from my tongue. I'm worried he would spiral, that he would resent me.