Magnetism

1 - this was us

Sometimes I look back, and wonder what my life would have been without her. If she hadn't have moved from the city and hadn't come to my school. Who would I be? What would have happened? It just so happens I was lucky enough for her to come into my life. Without even knowing Ivy there was pulse between us, something tense and fulfilling that drew us close despite any hesitation. In many ways we couldn't have been more different, like magnets though we were going to get close, going to touch one another.

Ivy was different even when I first saw her. She wasn't like the other girls I had ever met, had a conversation with. She didn't like them either: her hair was short and her makeup non existent, she was dressed in simple jeans and a baggy grey sweatshirt. If she had wanted to, I'm sure she could have blended in with the boys

I remember the first time I locked eyes with her in the hallway. Large brown eyes eyes glistened with flecks of gold stared back at me in an almost overwhelming way. Instantly, I wanted to go over and to introduce myself; there was a compelling force that Id like her to know me but more then that a craving to know her. A tug of such strength that a nearly did it and gave into that feeling of need to be near her. Her round chestnut eyes momentarily closed, blinked, and I took the opportunity turn back and to slip away into the sea of students a head of me.

The tug didn't leave when I did though. All that morning it was on my mind, circulating through me like my blood. I blamed curiosity, I still do, for my questioning of what I was feelings. Despite logic I couldn't let it be attraction, so I formed every excuse I could think of it. A faintly familiar question kept in at teasing me, taunting me. It was relentless and the only moment of relief was when I recognised the true potential the possibility had. Still, even then, it didn't feel right. What did feel right? The fact I knew I really did need to talk to her even if it was only once.

I sat in all my English lesson thinking about it, about her. It didn't feel like how it it did with other girls. There was something chemical about. The way her eyes had met mine.

'He looked at her in the way all women want to be looked at by a man' I ran my highlighter over it and read the line from Gatsby in front of me over and over. Fitzgerald was correct of course, there was a look one that didn't even have to be described for each reader to know exactly what he was referring to. And maybe that had been what it was, simply a look that this random girl I didn't know had given me except for me, for that ti be true, there was still one outstanding fact that I had to accept. Because I wanted her to look at me like that, and she wasn't a man whoever she was

"Brooke" Alex nudged me, striking me from me thoughts.

I looked up, to see the eyes of my teacher one me. She didn't say anything, not a single word just looked in curiously at the only line highlighted on my page.

By the time lunch had rolled around, I was beyond conflicted. I didn't even know the girls name, and yet my head span with confusion about her. My feelings didn't make sense and the possibility of attraction wasn't explainable. I walked into the sixth form common with Noah and Alex as per usual, our usual group in the back corner against a line of sofas but I refused to move my eyes from the filthy floor. I didn't like them, I didn't want to hang out with them. At the same time I was also painfully aware that Noah had his eyes wandering all over Alex and she was staring directly at him. It felt like an intrusion, to watch them or be involved in their conversation. Inevitably, my two best friends were going to become a couple. Maybe not that day or week, but I knew it was coming and they must have too but neither wanted to tell me and I was fine waiting.

For the second time that day, my head was completely consumed by thoughts. So much so that the awareness I had for my surroundings completely vanished and with Noah and Alex being so transfixed with each other, no one saw when I walked straight into someone out their chair. Everything happened so fast yet so slow. My body gave way and all I know is that somehow I ended up in a heap on the floor.