Magnetism

42 - never?

TW: homophobia-ish? ignorance

I felt Ivy's hand gently rolling up and down my arm as I woke. Stubbornness glued my eyes shut and still, while Ivy lured me into consciousness by pulling my body close to her own. She was warm, unconditionally warm, and I couldn't refuse the embrace. As I leant in, absorbing everything Ivy had to offer me, she let out a small laugh and moved her arm round my waist.

"Now I know you're awake"

"Shhhh" I groaned.

She laughed again but didn't speak, instead she moved herself even closer so that we were sharing a pillow. Gradually, I cracked my eyes open and took a small peak at the day. The sky was most classically British, a grey drizzle splattering the window and consuming the clouds.

"I have to get up Brooke"

"No"

"No?" she teased.

"Let's never move" i suggested as I turned over.

For the first time that morning, my eyes were given the opportunity to see Ivy. She was tired, sleep dusted her eyes and yet even with her morning hair she still looked stunning.

"Never again?"

I looked into her eyes and replied "Never"

An amused smile tugged at her mouth as she shook her head at me. And in that moment, I meant it, I wanted all of my moments to look like that - to feel like that. I remember the way she moved her hand and tucked my hair behind my ear, while her hair remained so messy. But my pleading had worked, and Ivy stayed still, looking into my eyes and pulling me into her so my back was against her chest and I was staring out the window again.

"Ivy, can I ask you something?"

She began to draw a small circle on my hip, lightly outlining the slight bit of bone she could feel "of course"

"How old were you, with your first?"

"First what exactly?"

The question stung a little, I'm not sure why but knowing there was so many firsts that I hadn't been for her felt, almost, intimidating.

"Your first girlfriend?"

Ivy stilled her hand momentarily "14, but I only really came out when I was 15"

"Really" I said surprised "how does that work"

"I don't know, I'm not sure either one of us knew what we were doing"

We went quiet for a bit, our breathing the only sound in room. It wasn't awkward like it had been yesterday, it was just quiet.

"When was um" I trailed off

"When was what, love?" Ivy asked

"When was the first time you did what we did yesterday, if it's okay I ask?"

"Of course. Yeah I was 16"

I watched as the patchwork of clouds began to move outside. It was going to be miserable, I could tell from the wind that rattled the trees and blew against the window, picking up speed.

"Brooke look at me"

Per her request, I turned again so I was face to face with my girlfriend, her eyes meeting my own.

"Are you okay? Are you regretting yesterday?"

Surprise from Ivy's question hit me like a bus "no" I stated "that's not it at all"

"Okay good"

I shifted closer so that we were even an inch apart and moved closer still. Until, my lips touched hers.
*