Casual Sabotage

25 - Happiness

The last two years since the diagnosis were great. Ian took his pills every day, even let Mickey check whether he really took them or not. After a while of waiting in Fiona's Diner, he was even allowed to get his job as EMT back and the rest of the time he tried to be the best boyfriend Mickey could have.

Mickey was reminded of why he fell in love with Ian in the first place. Back then he fell in love with the skinny ginger because he made him laugh, because he was fun to be around. Because he was the only one who made him feel at home and appreciated, who showed him kindness and love and showed him that he deserved this kind of happiness.

Yes, Ian made mistakes back then, but who was to say Mickey didn't? Especially before they got together Mickey said horrible things to him all the time even though he knew Ian liked him for more than just sex. "You're nothing but a warm mouth to me" "I'm just here for the dick, not your mouth talking" and all that shit. And also during their relationship, if Ian was unhappy before the coming out he had the right to tell him so, though he could have been a lot more understanding and patient.

But all in all, during their youth being together with Ian in any way, meant being happy. Making Ian happy and smile made Mickey happy. He made him forget about the horrors of the Milkovich house and gave him hope for a better tomorrow, for a time he could always be with Ian.

That time was now. And most of the time Mickey was very fucking happy with Ian. And now there was the bipolar, which was the reason they had been unhappy for some time.

The last two years, since the diagnosis, Ian really stepped up. He took Mickey on dates, he tried to be considerate and empathetic as much as possible. He put his heart and soul into making Mickey feel happy and safe and comfortable with him again.

The first six or seven months he overdid it in Mickey's eyes. He was desperate to please Mickey and he didn't allow himself to ask for anything in return. There was a lot of breakfast in bed going on at the time though Mickeys preferred waking up with Ian by his side and then going downstairs together. During that time, Ian would have bitten his own finger off if Mickey told him too and Mickey couldn't even criticise the smallest thing without Ian looking like he was about to cry - then he wouldn't let Mickey comfort him because he didn't "deserve it"

It needed a long conversation for Ian to understand that being a good boyfriend didn't mean being a slave and that Ian was allowed to have his own personality with dreams and needs and wishes. A relationship should be a two-way street. And Ian had started crying and sobbing "I don't know what my personality is anymore. I don't know who I am now"

Ian was broken in a lot of ways because of the disorder and Mickey wanted him to get therapy, but Ian argued they couldn't afford it. Mickey decided they would postpone the moving plans yet again and save less, use the money for therapy instead. Mickey wasn't ready to move away from Ian's siblings yet anyways since he was still fairly inexperienced with the disorder and pills and all that stuff.

Thanks to the therapy it got better again. Ian got better, so did their relationship. The overwhelming guilt Ian felt for Mick's crash and all the other things he did, slowly ebbed away, just staying present enough in his mind to make him take the pills three times a day with food. But their relationship was finally balanced and good again.

It's been two years, it was summer. Franny and Mickey's birthdays just passed. Franny was an energetic two-year-old who was running around the house and started talking in half sentences. For Mickey's 26th birthday Ian took him on a nice night picnic at their spot and they carved their initials into their old metal post again and had sex like when they were teenagers after Ian had said, "You're closer to 30 than to 20 now, you're getting old" and Mickey had just smirked at him, "Then I'm exactly your type again, huh?"