Casual Sabotage

7 - You got a broken heart, I got a couple scars

The past week Ian and Mickey barely talked, Ian was upset and Mickey wouldn't reach out to him. In his opinion, Ian had to do the first step, after all, was he the one who basically would risk Mickey's death for a kiss in the snow.

Ian came home from the store after another shift of silence between him and Mickey. He went up to his room and threw his backpack on his bed angrily, almost hitting Lip, who sat at the window by the bed.

"Whoa, what's up with you?", Lip asked.
Ian closed the door and leaned against Lip's bedpost.
"Fight with Mickey", he mumbled.

He actually didn't want to get Lip into the whole mess too, Lip was against Mickey anyways. He and Mandy still were... complicated, to say the least. They sometimes met for sex, Mandy was still deeply in love with him, but he was unsure about his feelings for her since she cheated on him last year and had an abortion.

"Surprise, surprise", Lip said, "What did he do?"
Ian sighed, "It's not what he did, but what he doesn't do."
"Which is?"
Ian shrugged, "Stand by me? It's just so stupid that I still have to hide this fucking relationship. We're fucking adults now and he acts like a little child who is afraid to come home to his dad with a D."
"I thought it's about him taking D.", Lip smirked.

Ian looked at him while Lip just laughed, "I'm glad my relationship problems are so amusing."
"Dude, you were the one who insisted on dating Mickey Milkovich, come on", he shook his head, "You know how Terry can be, would you want to go to him and tell him you're gay."
"He's not my dad", Ian said, "He would kill me, sure, but Mickey is his son."
"Yeah", Lip scratched his head, "Because that matters to him."
Ian shrugged, "Then Mickey could move out or something."
"To where? Do you expect Liam, Carl and me to sleep here while you and Mickey have sex all the time in the same room? He can't move in here."
"You are at college most of the time anyway."
"Still, this isn't a fucking shelter. Mickey is not moving in."

Ian rolled his eyes and sat down on his bed, Lip sat next to him.
"That's not the fucking point anyways. I love him, really. But I'm tired of this hide-and-seek game. When we were kids it was thrilling and shit... now it just feels like we're either still having this not-relationship or like I'm with those old, married dudes."
"Ian, you're eighteen, you're still a kid."
Ian shook his head, "I just don't want him to be ashamed of me.", he said sadly and rubbed his hands over his face.

Lip looked at his little brother and sighed, he put his hand on his back, "Ian, you're the best thing that could happen to him. If anything, he's ashamed of himself, not you. But if you're not happy, you can always leave him, you know?"
Ian bit his bottom lip, "I don't want to leave him. I want the exact opposite, I want to be with him and I want people to know that he's my boyfriend... the way it is... it's just so fucking exhausting and I don't get why I'm not even worth fighting for. He just says 'no' and that's the end of the conversation for him. How long am I supposed to wait? Until Terry is dead?"
Lip shrugged, "I don't know what else I'm supposed to say. If you ask me, he isn't worth all this trouble. Dump him."

"Because that worked out so great for you and Mandy? Do you think she doesn't tell me about it when you go to her after none of the college chicks would fuck you? You can't let go of her and I can't let go of Mickey. I just... want him to step up and admit that he is my boyfriend. And if he doesn't do that voluntarily, I'll have to force him."
Lip sighed, "You know, I come to enjoy the two of us talking about our relationships with the Milkvoiches."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, because you and Mickey make Mandy and me sound healthy."

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Mickey sat at his kitchen table together with his brothers and his dad. They were filing serial numbers off some guns so they could sell them. It was some of the easiest tasks to do that had something to do with the "Family business". Even as little children, they all sat around the table and removed the numbers from guns. Mickey remembered, once, when he was four, his brother Iggy played around with one of the guns too much, safety on, safety off, "pew pew, ha you're dead" and before anyone could (or wanted to) interfere, he had shot their older brother Collin in the arm.