Casual Sabotage

34 - We will be okay

Did you watch Hall of Shame? Everyone is hating on it, but I really liked it. Why is everyone pissed? It is exactly what they advertised: Some new scenes and a lot of flashbacks to have a retrospective of their relationship. They did what they said they would do and though the 87% was weird (He's got 5 siblings, one niece and one nephew they're gonna be in those last 13% guys). They said what to expect, they met the expectations. And now everyone is fighting about who loves who more, but of course, past relationships are always having an impact on you, tho they were/ended badly. Mickey just simply never loved anyone else than Ian, Ian loved other people but he always loved/loves Mick MORE. That's the whole point. If you srly get so fucking mad about it that Cam has to mute his Twitter, shut up and go cry in the corner, please.

I also enjoy S11 generally (tho I only watch the Gallavich scenes on Twitter) usually when ppl cry about how awful a season etc is, it ain't THAT fucking bad (except Game of Thrones, Game of thrones should die in shame)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Mickey woke up next to Ian again. He was happy to finally see him as the first thing when he woke up again. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep.

Mickey quietly got out of bed, to the bathroom first and then downstairs, where he got coffee for the both of them, took Ian's pills and a pop tart and went upstairs again.

When he opened the door to the bedroom, Ian was awake. He sat on the bed, his head was placed on his knees that were pulled up to his chest, he was about to cry.

Mickey went further into the room and placed his mug on his bedside table. Ian looked up at the noise, his eyes were red.

"Ian, what's going on? Are you okay? What is it?", he came on the bed, ran his hand softly over Ian's back and gave him coffee, pills and a pop tart.

"Just thought you were gone again", Ian mumbled.
Mickey sighed deeply, he placed his pillow upright so he could lean against the headboard. Ian took his pills, nibbled on the pop tart and then looked at Mickey.

"We have to wait until we can do anything wedding-related.", Mickey suddenly said and Ian sat up straight quickly.
"No. No, I meant what I said yesterday. I want to marry you, I love you and- "
"Ian, calm down, hey, calm down", he said, put an arm around him and made him lean against the headboard too. He took his hand.
"I love you too", he said calmly, "And I believe you that what we talked about yesterday, you meant it. But honestly, we're pretty fucking broken."

"I'm trying."
"I know you are. I know. What I don't know is why I'm paying that fucking therapist of yours because you don't really seem to get better."
"Well, the therapist mainly wants to talk about my parents, which is good in one way, because I have a lot of thoughts about my mom and how she handled her bipolar and how it affected her relationship. But the therapist and I don't really talk about how it's affecting our relationship."

"Well, then either you talk with him about that or I stop paying him. We need the money for a wedding anyways."
Ian smiled up at him, Mickey sighed.
"Ian, you need to talk to me about things."
"What things?"
"Well, things. You know, all kinds of things, like... when you feel like you can't marry me within a week then you should tell me instead of sending some wacky text to your brother."

Ian swallowed hard, "I didn't know how I was supposed to talk to you about it. I mean, ever since the diagnosis I've been terrified of making mistakes."
"I know. But Ian I said to you so many times in the last two years that I will stay with you. You would have to really fuck up and consciously not take your meds anymore for me to leave. You're allowed to have your own opinions. And I know that we had this conversation already a while ago."
"I know."
"And yet you didn't talk to me."
"Yeah.", he whispered.
"And because of that our relationship imploded."
Now Ian just made a low, sick sound and leaned his face against Mickey's shoulder.