A Twist of Fate [niall horan]

Chapter 40

Aubrey's P.O.V.

Tears, tissues, and tragic heart break were exactly what my past two days consisted of. Sorrow and anger was all that I could feel; all my other emotions seemed to dissipate away from my senses. I wasn't angry at anyone, it was more so a feeling of hatred towards myself. How could I have been selfish enough to leave Niall so vulnerable and clueless as to why I was leaving him. The look in his eyes immediately gave away to me that he thought I was breaking up with him because of him or something that he did. Quite the contrary actually- I wanted to get away from Niall so I would stop continually hurting him.

Every time my eyes would lock with his aqua ones, I felt nothing but pure and utter remorse. Niall looked at me with such compassion and care that it was enough to melt my heart. In no lifetime of mine would I ever be able to find another man that could come remotely close to Niall's treatment. As every word of despair left my mouth, I wanted the earth to shatter and swallow me whole. My eyes were holding back an entire flood of tears just waiting to be streamed down my cheeks.

It wasn't even how I felt that mattered; Niall's entire expression simply broke my heart. I knew he wanted to cry, but being the stubborn boy he was, he wasn't going to break down in front of me or anyone else. Instead, I knew he was bottling everything inside him which made things all the worse. I knew how badly bottling emotions in for Niall was, yet here I was being the cause of another tragedy for him. Nothing could tear away the guilt that was slowly suffocating me.

Staring at my phone, I squinted my eyes at the miniature red seven that was displayed atop the recents tab. Over the past two days, Niall has tried to call me nonstop, but I refused to answer. I knew if I answered I would not only feel worse about my decision, but I'd most likely end up saying some things I would later regret. Of course Niall still deserved to find out about the article, but I couldn't even begin to think of how to tell him. I needed to tell him before this stupid thing was published, yet I was cornered seeing as I had zero clues about going about this matter.

Even though this article held every piece of information that Niall never intended on sharing with the world, I wanted to show who Niall truly was. He wasn't just some sad, depressed boy band member that struggled to get over the death of his girlfriend. Niall was a ray of sunshine, always bringing light into people's lives whether it be expected or unexpected. His entire personality was beyond amazing not only because he was always happy, but because he was so understanding and caring. It didn't matter if a person was a stranger to him or his best friend, he would go to extreme measures to better things for them.

As I gripped the binder that held the extra twenty pages I had typed up last night for the ending of the Ms.Lipton's stupid "biography" or whatever the hell she called it, I couldn't help but feel a small smile tug at my lips. Each one of these pages included not only what a fantastic person Niall was superficially, but personally. I poured out each and every feeling about how I felt during the entire duration of our relationship. From being acquaintances to close friends to boyfriend and girlfriend, I praised him in every aspect.

I wasn't including this as some sort of cheap shot to get Niall to oversee the intensity of my lies and mistakes, but I wanted him to see how much of an impact he had on me. No amount of gratitude could ever explain how truly thankful I was for being lucky enough to develop any sort of relationship with him. With the wind blowing away at my hair while I continued my walk down to Ms. Lipton's building. I hoped this would be the last time I would ever have to deal with this shit, because God only knows how much more I can handle.

Rather than compiling with Ms.Lipton's demands and gathering details about how Niall felt after the death, I felt it was better to explain the positivity in his life that flowered afterwards. Nerves in my hand seemed to tighten as I entered, giving the receptionist a weak smile, before I headed off to the elevator. Once I stepped inside, I leaned the entire weight of my body against the sleek metal of the elevator.