In Love With A Nanny (Haylor AU) (#Wattys2015)

Anthony

Anthony - 18

Taylor POV
Harry and I have been a little awkward around each other these past couple of weeks, mainly since we got back from the Cayman Islands. He’s like a completely different man now and it’s not in the best way, he’s not the Harry that I’ve fallen in love with and so I don’t want anything to do with him. Alright sure I’ll admit that I was a little rude to him when we were away but he was trying to dig for more information on a topic which I didn’t want to talk about because it was personal. It’s a topic which came from my past with Jake which was bad enough but the thing with this topic is it’s not something I can have covered by plastic surgery or stitched up and fixed. The topic which he wanted to know more about was my beautiful son Anthony, the little boy whom I fell pregnant with after my near death incident when Jake attacked me.

It’s not that I don’t want to have kids with Harry because believe me I really do want that, I just don’t feel ready for that step yet. I mean we’ve been going out for nearly 4 months at the end of next week as it’s the start of may in a couple of days – not that I’m really counting. I feel that we’d be rushing things as 4 months is hardly anything in terms of a relationship and I wouldn’t want to bring a child into this relationship which I don’t even think Harry and I are really sure of everything between us. I mean we were so happy and then I let those two little words ‘pregnant again’ slip out of my mouth and Harry got annoyed when I wouldn’t tell him. It wouldn’t be right to bring a child into all of this – but hopefully one day he’ll be the father to Anthony and any future children we have whilst I’ll be a step mom to Olivia and a mom to any future children.

I’d told Harry about my incident with Jake because I knew that whenever we got intimate then he would see the scars and I didn’t want him to be scared away by them. But I wasn’t really sure whether I was ready to let him into the world which was Anthony just yet, he’s my little boy and I will protect him with everything which I have. Harry knows about my trip home to Nashville in July which is why I can’t go with him and Olivia to Hawaii but what he doesn’t know if that the trip back home is all because of Anthony and I do that trip every year to spend as much free time as I can with him. This year is especially important because I want to be there when he starts school, I want to be there to wish him well as he goes to his first class and be there in the afternoon to pick him up and hear all about his new friends and teacher. Anthony is 4 but he’ll be 5 at the end of July, a week before we starts school, he’s going to my old primary school in Nashville and I want to be there to wish him. That’s why I won’t be back in NYC till the week after that, I want to make sure my little boy is settled in before I fly half way across the country from him again.

I’m really hoping that Harry and I work things out and that I will be able to find an appropriate time to tell Harry about Anthony, I want him to have that true father figure in his life. Anthony currently lives with a friend of mine back in Nashville as they kind of adopted him from me though he doesn’t call them mom and dad because he knows that I’m his mom and my friend Brittany is his ‘auntie Brittany’ and her husband Bed is his ‘Uncle Ben’. I had to give him up because 23 is a bit too young to be a mother of a 5 year old out of marriage, thankfully though my lovely friend and her husband stepped in to help me out and I know that they are always going to be there for Anthony no matter what. 

“Taylor, are you and daddy fighting?” Olivia asked ask we sat on the couch and she sat next to me with her library book trying to read me the story.
“No darling, he’s just really busy with work now that’s all” I lied but I couldn’t have her knowing that Harry and I had issues at the moment.
“But you never stay late anymore and you don’t have sleepovers with daddy anymore, it’s like you and daddy’s holiday made you mad at each other” Olivia tried to explain and although she was talking from the mind of a child she had some very good points showing me how observant she really is. I generally go home straight after Harry would get back here because I wasn’t needed here anymore and Harry would hardly talk to me or do anything with me so there was no point in staying any longer. I didn’t see Olivia or Harry on the weekends or whenever I wasn’t needed to look after Olivia and all of this was my life the past couple of weeks.