Modest Oblivion - Book 6 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 34 - Save the past from catching on

I started a writing Blog. If you want to get in my head or learn some cheeky tips and tricks that help me as a writer, this is the place to be. It will include book reviews along with my own musings as a writer and notes to build up to the release of my latest work. https://jbethjasper.wordpress.com/ Love you always and FOREVER

‘Don’t Look Back’ – The Dear Hunter

Save the past from catching on

Zayn was drinking, even though he promised he wouldn’t and Niall’s forced smile is cracking Louis is watching as Niall’s demeanour falls apart. He stands, helpless and feeling hopeless. He watched Harry snarl and snap as he strode towards the back of the seats and stared aimlessly at an empty chair. His stomach churned with unease, Harry was losing it. If Harry lost it, Louis was sure he would too. 

His mind was chaotic and uncontrollable, his thoughts a tangled web of ‘what if’s’ and ‘if only’s.’ He walked to the bar, slumped onto the seat and every time Liam caught his eye he forced and excited smile for the happy couple. The air was chilled, music swirled amidst the clouds and drowned out his foggy thoughts. He ordered a drink, Zayn didn’t bother to look at him nor did he bother to say a word.

With Zayn saying nothing, Niall brooding alone as he stared at the skyline and Liam in his own blissful bubble Louis was trapped with his thoughts. He hated his mind, hated the way it taunted him with the truth and coaxed awareness from deep within his aching soul. He stared at his drink, he tossed up whether he should drink as his mind played games with him. Louis felt alone, he felt trapped and he wanted to scream for help. 

Harry is a murderer. 

But I love him. 

Harry killed someone.

And I love him. 

Harry, took a life.

He’s mine.

Harry’s changed.

I still want him.

His conscience is heavy.

I’ll be there for him.

He doesn’t look at you the same.

I’ll love enough for the both of us.

What if it’s never the same? 

No. 

What if he’s never the same?

I love him.

Is love enough?

Louis threw back a shot of rum, “Another,” he hissed at the bartender.

Is love enough? His mind hissed, pushing him, taunting him.

“No,” he snarled with a shaking voice and his skin chilled, turning to ice at the heavy realisation. His feelings buried so deep below that when they crept up, when they caught up with him Louis was rendered breathless. Winded by reality, slapped away by the truth. So he stared at the drink in his hand, clenched the glass between his aching fingers.

“You look like shit, man.” Zayn broke the silence, his words slurred and his eyes heavy. “Really, shit.”

Louis rolled his eyes, “You can talk.”

“Yeah, I can.” He gestured to the band, to Saskia who was belting out the lyrics to Beyoncé’s ‘Drunk in Love,’ her voice so melodic and sinful. “After all this time,” Zayn said and his eyes lingered on her pink hair and her plump lips. “After all we’ve been through and all we’ve done. And here she is, like a…” he broke off and shook his head.