Modest Oblivion - Book 6 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 25 - What is lust if it's not being by yourself?

‘Nara’ – Alt-J

‘Leaving Nara’ – Alt-J

What is lust if it’s not being by yourself? 

Zayn took a private taxi to the hotel, he couldn’t stand another minute with Niall’s slurring or Liam’s glazed look whenever he glanced idly at Jennifer. He needed to be alone, stuck with his intolerable inner monologue and complete irritation that his single status was getting to him so much. He threw on a white t-shirt with a checkered breast pocket, black leather jacket and red checkered scarf slung around his neck. 

From the summer his skin had darkened, now a deep bronze and without facial hair he looked younger, even healthy. His hair was longer, the dark mass slightly curled at the tip. It was quaffed up to one side, he liked to appear asymmetrical when it came to his famous hair and without the blonde streak in the front he felt older. The city flashed by, lights of the buildings turning on as the sun vanished beneath the skyline. 

His phone vibrated, three times on the journey to the booked out hotel but he ignored it. Zayn opted to suffer in silence, misery for one was often easier to swallow rather then dragging them all down. Not that Harry and Louis are down, he sighed. The sounds of their raucous sex was imprinted on his brain and he wasn’t pleased. Everyone’s having sex, everywhere, all the time and I’m just… he couldn’t find the word to describe his involuntary celibacy. Limbo? 

With a huff he pressed his cheek against the glass and stared aimlessly out the window. He was interrupted when the driver cleared his throat awkwardly and said, “Err, Zayn,” he waited for Zayn to reply. 

Zayn sighed, “Yeah?” He didn’t mean to sound impatient he was just so weighed down with worries for Dakota and Niall, mixed with sadness and the fact that he hadn’t had sex in months. He was getting restless, his nails suffering for it as he bit on them anxiously…a lot. 

“Niall’s calling the car,” Luke looked at Zayn in the mirror and his brows furrowed as he tried to read Zayn’s expression. 

Under his breath Zayn huffed, “He doesn’t give up.”

“Sorry?”

“Answer it,” Zayn said and began chewing on his nails once more. 

“Zayn, where the hell–“

“I left already,” Zayn said impatiently. 

“Without me?” Niall said after a pause. 

“Yeah.” Zayn said, ignoring Luke’s stare, “So?”

“So?” Niall growled, “I thought we’d go together and–“

“I don’t want to talk about her anymore,” Zayn admitted. 

Niall was silent. 

“I’ll see you there,” Zayn snapped and instantly the droning beep of the phone filled the car. Niall hung up. 

“You okay?” Luke asked, he raked his longer fingers through his chocolate curls as they pulled up at a set of traffic lights. 

“Yeah,” Zayn lied half heartedly but Luke had known him long enough to notice. 

“Really?”

Zayn shrugged. 

“You want to talk?” Luke offered, glancing blankly out at the still traffic as cars driving the opposite direction hummed past. 

His cheeks flamed red, suddenly realising his behaviour was close to a petulant child. His friend was suffering, the girl he loved didn’t remember him and management were doing a good job of keeping Niall away, which had to hurt. Then here Zayn was with his lips pouted and his arms crossed, having a bad day because he was lonely and horny. You’re an asshole.