Modest Oblivion - Book 6 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 3 - Light, you're with me in the dark

‘Going Home’ – Àsgeir 

‘No Strings’ – Chlöe Howl

Light, you’re with me in the dark

“And he’s off!” Liam called, exhausted as he walked back into the house. 

He slammed the door, loudly and walked into the living area with a grumble. He ran a hand through his shaggy hair and shook his head.

Louis sat with Flynn on his knee, sunglasses on his face and the sun beating down. Flynn was babbling and laughing as he pulled Louis’ long hair. Every time Louis winced or hollered, Flynn’s eyes would light up and he would yank Louis’ hair harder. 

Niall’s bad mood and sudden screaming match with Liam had instantly dampened the mood of their barbecue. Harry thought the gathering, the sunshine and Liam remixing ‘You and I’ would help liven Niall’s spirits. He was always the most dedicated, passionate in their group when it came to music. ‘Was’ being the most important part of everyone’s vocabulary when it came to discussing, Niall.

He was a great singer, he was always so dedicated to the fans,he was in the middle of writing some great stuff for the new album…he was happy with Dakota. Was.

But Harry’s idea of changing the mood to a more positive one with sunshine, singing and a barbecue didn’t quite work. He stood up, kissing the side of Louis’ head gently as he stretched and glanced inside. A sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Harry lifted up the sunglasses that perched on his nose and pushed them through his overgrown, curly hair. Frowning he watched Jennifer and Zayn. What do I do? 

The worst part about watching everyone try to keep Niall from falling apart, for Harry, was knowing that not so long ago it was him causing everyone such heartache. Harry hated recalling what hell he had put them all through, Jennifer was heavily pregnant and Niall was just managing to hold Harry together. Then Louis returned and everything completely turned to shit. Harry still saw the unease, the glitter of worry in Louis’ blue eyes. The way Louis would flinch if Harry lost his temper or hesitate to say anything that could possibly upset Harry. 

Harry was so tired of telling Louis, “I’m not him anymore. I’m okay.” Sick of reassuring everyone that he wasn’t just going to fly off the handle and fill his body with every drug imaginable, no matter how badly he wanted to. But it was useless, they remembered what he was like. It was everyone else who would have to forgive and forget. Or at least trust Harry again. He knew trust took time, but he still hated how they glanced uneasily between each other if he took some cough medicine or asked for painkillers if he’d hurt himself. I deserve it, I am an addict. Of course they worry. 

Most of all he hated the way Louis watched him, when Louis thought Harry was asleep. Watched him carefully, worried if he took his eyes off Harry he would just spontaneously combust. Louis’ constant unease really ate away at Harry. I hate that I have made him so worried, so guilty. Harry worked tirelessly to prove that he deserved Louis love, that he wasn’t an addict and most of all he wasn’t leaving Louis. Ever.

Harry cracked his neck, his worry transferred from thoughts of Louis to Niall and Dakota. Though, in earnest he was hesitant to think of Dakota because it was like a hole in his heart. Her name burned into her skin and her face slowly fading in his memory as he desperately tried to hold onto that fleeting hope she was alive and okay. Harry often lay awake at night wondering where she was, worrying that she was screaming for help and no one could hear her.  

He knew what it was like to have the one he loved ripped from right underneath him, he had lived through that hell and it nearly broke him. When Louis was in LA at least Harry knew he was well, alive. When Louis was taken by Blake however, Harry didn’t know if Louis was alive or dead, screaming for help or suffering in silence. The not knowing was the hardest. So, he knew without a doubt Niall was living through hell.