Modest Oblivion - Book 6 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 21 - We're Diamonds in the rough

‘Say My Name’ – ODESZA (Feat. Zyra) 

A/N: I am obsessed with this song!

We’re Diamonds in the rough

Zayn rubbed furiously at his aching knee, it was more of a nervous habit he had developed over the months. His hand rubbed up and down against his knee cap, fingers brushing in tight circles in an attempt to alleviate the pain. Though, there was not pain exactly it was more of a dull ache. Rubbing at the ache, giving his nervous hands something to do had become innate. Stress, the group falling apart of pressure from the media and he would immediately begin rubbing his tired knee, a symbol of his tired mind. 

He had a headache from all of Niall’s yelling then Flynn crying and Harry huffing like Puff the Magic Dragon as he stomped back into the nursery. Jennifer’s sobs soon followed, Liam flung accusations at her and they disappeared upstairs to their bedroom. Their voices carried up the stairs, he accused and she defended Zayn watched them from his position on the couch until their ankles disappeared and he was left alone, with only his thoughts as company.

Every so often as Zayn tried to distract himself with the Playstation Liam’s shouts would waft down the staircase, Zayn was grinding his teeth from all the tension. He was wound so tight he felt at any moment he would snap, or worse, explode. It took, only twenty minutes before Liam’s shouts changed. Then the distinct moans and groans of the couple in love wafted through the air, down the staircase and filled the silent living room. 

Niall entered the living room, he walked straight past Zayn as if he were invisible and immediately began drinking. Scotch, Vodka whatever he could get his hands on. Zayn watched him drink, it eerily reminded him of Harry not so long ago drowning his sorrows in drugs and alcohol. Popping pills like candy, drinking vodka like water and obliterating any chance of thinking about Louis, of feeling.

Every time Niall poured himself a rather large glass of scotch, Zayn began to wonder if he should have some too. No, don’t drink you’ll cloud up your brain.

He was tempted, his mouth parched and then watering at the thought of obliterating his worries with the warm comfort of alcohol. No, Zayn not tonight. He growled at his inner demons and  slammed the Playstation remote down, he was furious, he was in pain. But most of all he was exhausted.

The one emotion he refused to acknowledge or admit he was feeling was the deep set loneliness that resided in his gut like hunger but it never subsided. When he rolled over at night to find his bed empty, he was lonely. When he was upset and each of his friends, bar Niall, quickly paired up he was lonely, turning only to find his reflection staring back at him. He was lonely because he wasn’t in love with Bradley, because after the loss of Logan and Porter he had learnt that none of them were infallible or invincible. The worst part of his emotions was that he was lonely because he had never truly been in love.

Louis followed Harry into the nursery, then twenty minutes later they emerged and began for the front door. Zayn didn’t ask them where they were going he just stared at the screen of his game as he sprayed bullets onto unsuspecting characters. At some point, Zayn didn’t exactly know when, Niall had filled his tall glass and emerges back onto the patio. He now sat with his back to Zayn and his feet kicked up onto the deck chair as he lit a cigarette and stared aimlessly at the sky. Zayn had no doubts that Niall was lost in thought pining over the love of his life. 

While, inside the house and what felt like right above his head he heard the rhythmic thumps and moans as Liam literally slammed the brains out of his girlfriend behind closed doors. He didn’t blame them, they were in love after all with a beautiful baby boy and their lives ahead of them.