Modest Oblivion - Book 6 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 18 - I miss the taste of the sweet life

‘In your pocket’ – Maroon 5

‘Lost Stars’ – Adam Levine

I miss the taste of the sweet life

Niall was a bundle of nerves as they stepped into the basement car park, the echo of tyres squealing on the shining cement was ringing in his ears. 

He almost forgot Louis was with him until he spoke, “You okay?” Louis’ voice was gravelly and he sounded as anxious as Niall felt.

 Niall was so lost in the darkness of his thoughts and twisting paranoia, he simply nodded in reply. Liar, you’re far from okay.He ignored his chastising mind and began walking, one foot in front of the other. The time was swiftly approaching, a time he had prayed for, for months and now he was dreadfully afraid. 

Uneasy at the thought of her beautiful face, blank with no recognition. All the shared whispers, stolen kisses in his hotel room and a magical night when their bodies united as one and his heart was lost. Uneasy as he recalled the way she looked at him for the last time, her feet slamming against the ground as she ran. If only she stayed, if only I knew what was coming. 

But ‘if only’ was a remedy for all the scenarios where she ended up in his arms and he in her memory, not forgotten…a stranger with an unrecognisable face. Now Niall carried the anguish for them both, the memories of a time when he hated her because he hated loving her. Now, loving her wasn’t a choice, it was in his DNA.

As if in a funeral procession Louis was by Niall’s side, silent as they approached the elevator doors. Richard, too was silent but he cast uneasy glances at Niall as they walked. Clearing his throat over and over again, wanting to find the right thing to say but shutting his mouth when he came up blank. 

Blank. Dakota was blank, her life forgotten and her family brushed away like dust from a tabletop. Niall was dust, irrelevant but he held himself together as they rode the elevator. The chime of the bell made him blink, he stared at Louis who was texting Harry and sighed. He wished he had someone to text but that someone wouldn’t even recognise his name. Niall bit his bottom lip, it was a second chance he was unwilling to take. 

The hospital was a blur, each nurses station passed in the blink of an eye. Staff and patients were cleared of the hallway as they walked through to ensure their privacy and anonymity. The hospital knew to keep the boys safe and anyone with a long camera lens far from sight. 

Niall found himself wishing for the blinding flashes of the camera, another way to numb his senses and shield his mind from the myriad of thoughts that tossed around his mind like ping pong balls. 

Richard took Niall’s arm, “Niall,” he began. 

He looked up.

“Just be prepared, she may not look the same as you remember.” He said, wide eyes searching Niall’s face, for a sign of understanding. 

His jaw dropped, gasping sounds filled his ears and for a moment he didn’t even realise the horrified gulps of oxygen were coming from him. Then Louis was at his side, holding his hand not like lovers but like brothers. Unified in their pain, Louis squeezed his hand but didn’t offer any words of comfort because he of all people knew words were useless when pain was riddled in someone’s bones. 

Niall’s bones felt tired, he ached and felt weathered as he sucked in a long breath. Louis and Richard staring at him, desperate for him to keep it together. So he steadied himself, I’ll be okay. Whatever happened to her doesn’t matter anymore. She’s safe. That’s what matters.

He wanted to believe it, believe she was safe but he didn’t, wouldn’t until he set eyes on his beautiful brunette. 

They rounded the corner, Nurses ushered visitors and patients aside as the silent procession entered the wing. Niall counted his steps, focusing on the numbers in his mind. His knee’s shook, his heart hammered viscously in his chest. What will I even say?