Conversation's in the Dark (Merhayes)

Note's and Test's

Meredith gasps and shoots up. "Oh thank god doctor grey you're up I thought you died." Jo said. "No I'm fine." I reply. "Okay but I need you to come get checked out." Jo says worried "jo I'm fine. I promise." I say shaking my head at her. "At least let me make sure you have a steady heart rate." She says still looking worried "jo I'm pregnant, 2 weeks. I'm okay, just tired." Jo gasps as I tell her. "Oh my god" she squeals. "Shhhhh. Shut up I haven't told anyone. At all not even the dad." Jo's smile falls and she says "got it. Congratulations." as she starts to smile again. "Thank you jo. Hey can I borrow your car? I came here in a rig and I need to get back to the house." I ask her I didn't want to give to many details away. "Sure here are the keys." She says handing me her keys. "Thank you." I say.

I get to Cormac's house and immediately go up stairs. I walk over to the side of the bed where Cormac was laying before he went to the hospital. I sit down for a second because something doesn't feel right. As I sit down I see the not Cormac left me. I reach for it and decide to read it. It was a folded piece of paper that looked like he had ripped off another piece of paper.

Dear my Beautiful Meredith Grey,
I am very sick. I have felt it all day. If I die I want you to know I really like you. Please take care of my boys. And Meredith if I do die you can move on. Find someone who makes you happy, whoever that may be. Don't think for a minute this was your fault I should have gone to the hospital sooner. It's my incision it is very infected, it's not good. Thank you for being my first. I loved what we had. You are beautiful. Please don't be mad, I just wanted to have one last amazing day with the most beautiful person in the world. Meredith grey you are my everything after Abigail. When I see you my heart skips a beat. You make me act like a teenager again. Meredith if I do die I want you to keep that hoodie the one that says my name, you can keep any of my clothes but that hoodie on you is beautiful. Oh by the way I know you're pregnant. Meredith I see you better than anyone you know, did you really think you could hide it? I was very excited to start a family with and for you to be my boys step mom. Take care of our baby okay? You were the last thing I thought of before I passed out, Meredith I wasn't in pain. I will be okay and you will to. addio mia bella, prenditi cura del nostro bambino.
- Cormac Hayes.

Reading Cormac's note I was crying. He's not dying, he can't be. I still don't feel right and I really have to pee so I go to the bathroom. "Shit" there's blood in my panties. "No no no no no!" If Cormac was dying this baby was all I had left of him. I'm only 2 weeks along so I haven't told anyone or have an ultrasound. "Fuck fuck fuck, this can't be happening" I yelled as I grabbed my phone. Searching for a pad in Cormac's bathroom I say "hey Siri call jo Wilson." And then pick up my phone. Finally I gown a box of pads under the sink. I was hesitant about putting one on but I had no choice it's not like pads have an exportation date... "hey Meredith what's up." I hear on the other side of the phone. I start to tear up as I tell jo what is happening. "I'm bleeding." Jo seemed confused but I didn't give an information. "Huh? I don't know what your talking about."
"Jo I'm bleeding. I'm p-p- pregnant." I'm crying a lot. "Shit! Um okay well how many pads have you used? Do not use tampons!!!" She was kind of yelling which didn't help. "Jo shut up, you are the only on who knows I'm pregnant. I just put one pad on. Jo what do I do? I want this baby." Jo doesn't say anything. "Jo Wilson!" I yell at her. I really want this baby Cormac is already an outstanding dad to Austin and Liam but we both want a baby. "Yeah okay uh come in, go through the back door I'll meet you there and I can check on the baby." I sigh in relief hear jo say that. "See you in 15."

As Jo puts the cold jelly on my stomach I'm think of Cormac's note. His last sentence "goodbye my beautiful, take care of our baby." I wasn't doing a very good job at that. I tried to take my mind off everything so I started to think of names. If it's a boy I know I like Maxwell or Dean but if it's a girl I like Ivy and Nova. "Well mer theres 2 heartbeats." Jo looks at me smiling. "Wh- wha- what did you just say?" I was in shock as I ask that. "Meredith It looks like you're gonna lose the babies. I'm so sorry." Jo says genuinely sad. I couldn't respond, I couldn't breath, I couldn't move. I just couldn't. "Meredith. Mer." I hear jo say echo-y "thank you doctor Wilson." I say ignoring her about the babies. I had twins and I was losing them both? The second love of my life was on an OR table dying and my damn hostile uterus can just hold a damn baby. My phone rings, it's Bailey. "He- he- hello?" I say trying to calm down so she don't tell I'm crying. "Meredith I couldn't find you so I called to let you know doctor Hayes is okay and he is in a room. Where are you?" I hesitate as I say "I'm on the OB floor room 212..." I am scared to hear what Bailey was gonna say but I'm pretty sure she can tell somethings not right. "I'll be right there."

"I'm 2 weeks along, it's really early so I hadn't told anyone not even Cormac." I say to Bailey as she holds my hand. "Jo is new to OB, can I take a look to make sure she gave you all the right information?" Bailey asks. Im still crying so I just nod. "Okay I see two? Heartbeats" a smile forms on my face as Bailey says that. If the babies do make it I will be so excited. "Ok it looks like..." Bailey got cut off at the sound of a code blue. "I'm sorry Meredith, Jo was right." Bailey says as she wiped the jelly off my stomach. I burst into tears. "Hey hey hey look Cormac is okay you can try again and next time take it easy. Meredith you were pounding on his chest and you have a hostile uterus. I'm not saying this is your fault but you know you have to take it easy when your pregnant. Do you want to go see him? He was asking for you." Bailey says trying to calm me but it was not helping. "Yeah." I say simply still crying.

"Hey you." I say walking into Cormac's room. I was crying still but I didn't care. "Are you okay? What happened?" I didn't want to tell him but I'm his not he said he knew so I had to. "Babe I was pregnant." I say walking closer to the bed grabbing his hand. "W- w- was? What do you mean?" Cormac says stuttering. "I'm having a miscarriage."