Conversation's in the Dark (Merhayes)

What's Even Happening Anymore?

CORMAC'S POV/://:

I couldn't believe what Meredith was telling me. I knew she was pregnant and I was excited to start a family again. I mean sure I thought we moved into this relationship fast but I love her. I haven't told her that but I do. I love Meredith Grey. Even the things I absolutely hate I love. Meredith makes me a better person and to see her hurt kills me. "Hey it's okay, it's going to be okay." I softly say trying to calm her down. Doctor Bailey was still in the room. Meredith cried harder. "Hey, hey look at me. You are okay. I am okay. It is okay. Everything is going to be okay." She squeezes my hand. "I just need to let you guys know a few things, Meredith can you sit down for me?" I knew something was going on because when a doctor tells a patient to sit down it usually means someone died. No one died though. Meredith sits down on the chair next to my bed. "Okay doctor Hayes is going to have to stay in the hospital for at least 2 weeks to make sure his incision heals and that he gets better. Meredith you can stay with him if you would like." Bailey says reaching to hold Merediths other hand. "Meredith, I'm going to give you 3 hours. Then im going to do another ultrasound, I think we're going to have to do a D&C. I don't want to but we may have to." Bailey says. Meredith cries harder. Bailey gets up and starts to walk out "Meredith I know you have been through this before but if you need anything I'm right here, just call." Bailey says as she walks out the door. "Thank you doctor Bailey." Meredith says. Even when she's crying she's beautiful. "Cuddles?" I ask and Meredith nods. She gets in bed next to me being careful not to hurt my ribs or touch my incision. "Bella is going to keep the boys for a few weeks. I have work tomorrow but I'm calling in sick." She says as she lays her head down on my chest. "look at me." I say. She looks at me. I wanted to tell her i love her but I thought it was too soon. So I gently pull her chin up and kiss her. "You're okay I have you." Meredith falls asleep on my chest but I couldn't sleep, I was in to much pain. All I could think about was the babies. Meredith never told me she was pregnant but I knew she was I'm guessing she was about 2 or 3 weeks. You shouldn't be able to see a heartbeat then but if the babies were strong you may have. I started to tear up thinking about how much pain Meredith was in and the fact that we lost them. Meredith never told me she was having twins but I just had a feeling there was more than one. Bailey walks back in quite and looks at me. She whisperers "is she awake." I shake my head at her. "Babe, you gotta wake up." I say lightly shaking Meredith. "Babe come on." She wakes up but snuggles back into my chest. "Meredith hun you need to do another ultrasound." I say Bailey looks at me and then at Meredith. "Meredith I'm going to get an ultrasound and we can do it here okay?" Bailey softly says. Meredith just shakes her head. Bailey comes back so I start to get Meredith to actually get up "babe I need you to wake up some." She rolls over to look at Bailey. "Hey Meredith." Bailey wasn't a soft person but she was speaking very soft to Meredith. "Hi" Meredith said in her morning voice. "Can we look at those babies now?" Bailey says. I stop for a minute. "Babies? Like with an s? Plural? More than one?" I say Meredith giggles a little "yes Cormac babies with a S more than one." I'm excited but sad at the same time. "Okay can you roll on your back for me?" Bailey asks Meredith. Bailey put the jelly on Merediths belly and I grab her hand. "You okay?" I ask trying to soothe her. "Mmhm" Meredith says. "Alright let's take a look. Uhh- I'm gonna page OB okay?" Bailey says. Meredith looks at me and then at Bailey "why what's wrong? Why won't you show us the screen? Bailey" you can tell Meredith is worried so I squeeze her hand a little. "Nothings wrong, here." Bailey turns the screen and we see two little bubbles. "Are those- are.." I stutter trying to find the words I'm looking for. Meredith giggles at me. I love her little giggle. "Mmhmm there baby A and here is baby B." She says. Bailey smiles at us "I'll be right back I'm gonna page Carina." Bailey says as she walks out of the room. Meredith looks back at me "look it's your babies." She says. A tear rolls down my face "our babies. Those are our babies." I say. She's crying too. We can see two little bubbles but no features, you can't see fingers, toes. You don't see anything besides two bubbles. They call it the "sack" it's the start of the baby. Meredith starts crying a little more. "Hey what's wrong?" I ask brushing her hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear. "I just really want these babies." She said. I'm trying to think of a way to distract her but nothing is coming to mind. "What do you think of the name Ivy?" I ask. Meredith turns and looks at me "Ivy?" She says as her face lights up. "Yes... Ivy Hayes. I think it's cute." I respond "I love it I was gonna ask what you thought of it. But we don't need baby names. We don't have babies" she replies. Her sentence broke me a little bit. The thought of a little baby made me so happy, the thought of it dying without meet us hurt more than anything.

"Hello doctor Grey." Says a very thick Italian accent. It was Carina. "Oh well hello to Doctor Hayes as well." Meredith and I both smile. "Okay I'm just gonna look at these babies." Carina says. "Okay I was told I'm having a miscarriage." Meredith response to Carina. "I heard that, I'm so sorry." Carina says. She turns the screen back to her so we can't see it.
It's quite and I can tell Meredith is thinking the absolute worst. I whisper in her ear...

I will never try to change you, change you
I will always want the same you, same you
Swear on everything I pray to
That I won't break your heart...

She leans back onto my shoulder. "Our song" she says. "Mmmhmm. Take a deep breath and calm down." Carina smiles as I say that. Meredith takes a deep breath. "Cormac?" Shes says turning her head so her lips are close to my neck. "Yeah?" I ask just holding her. "Thank you." She says. It sends goosebumps down my spine. Her lips are so close to my neck I can feel her breath. "What are you thanking me for? Being a good boyfriend? Being a dad? Meredith I'm doing my job." I say chuckling. "Just thank you." She says. "No thank you. Thank you for being so strong." I say. Carina puts the ultrasound wand away and starts to wipe the jelly off Merediths belly. Then looks up at us and smiles really big.

AUTHORS NOTE/:/:/

So this was a sad happy chapter. How are we feeling?? This story is not going where I planned for it to go but I'm starting to like it. Next chapter has a lot to do with Deluca, Bella, and all 5 of the kids. Im not sure when I'm posting again. I have some homework to do. I hope you are enjoying the story.