Conversation's in the Dark (Merhayes)

Second Thought's

I was watching Liam play with Ellis, and Bailey play with Zola when I heard dad talking to doctor Webber. They were talking about the ring. Earlier before I asked mom for a hug I found the ring in the sand and picked it up. I ask mom to hug us so dad would come so I could slip it in his pocket but then they kicked us out. I walk over to dad "Austin go play." He says. "I found the ring in the sand and picked it up. You guys need to be more careful if I didn't pick it up mom would have." I reply. "Oh my god, thank you." Dad replies. "Yeah." I say and then start to walk back. "Wait Austin." He calls. "What?" I ask. "Can you hold onto it for me? Mom will find it if I hold it and I don't trust Richard anymore." Dad asks as he looks at doctor Webber. "Yeah, just tell me when you need it tomorrow." I say taking the ring and walking back to watch Ellis. Ellis was now with Zola and Bailey. Liam walk's over to me. "He's being very stupid." Liam says. I nod "yes he is. She's going to find out." I reply. Meredith walk's outside dad and Doctor Webber are still talking about the ring. Liam runs over to dad. "Shut the hell up, and go play with your kids." Dad almost slapped him. "Excuse me but this is  important." Dad responds "dad trust me." Liam replies. "Hey cutie." Meredith says. "Oh shit" dad says out loud. I place my hand on my forehead and run it down my face. What the fuck was he doing? "Hi mom" I say "hey bud, how are my babies?" She asks talking about Zola, Bailey, and Ellis. "Good" I reply.then Maggie calls us in for dinner. We had salad, some rice dish, and chicken.

"Guys time for bed, we have a long day tomorrow." I call down to all the kids. They were outside. "Okay mom coming." Ellis replies. They all come running up. "Dad's upstairs waiting for you guys. I need to talk to auntie." I say as the kids walk in the house. "Good night I love you." I say. "Love you." Austin say "good night" Liam replies "night mommy." All three of my kids say. I give each kid a hug and then head outside to Amelia and Maggie. I didn't have to talk to them but cormac asked me to stay out of the house for a few minutes. He wanted to talk to the kids or something. "Hey want a- oh" Maggie says. I laugh "I'd love a drink, a shot of tequila or some wine but I can't. Thank you though." I reply. "Okay but can I drink?" Maggie asks. "Go for it." I respond and sit down. "So you want a girl or boy?" Amelia ask. "Honestly for me it doesn't really matter. I would like another girl but I would be happy with either. I have boys and girls already so it's not like I'm missing out." I reply. "Yeah. What are you wearing tomorrow?" Amelia asks. "The blue dress I wore to Alex's wedding... why does everyone care what I'm wearing?" I respond "I was just wondering." Amelia says shrugging. Maggie sits down next to be by the fire. "I thought you were making a drink?" I ask. "Yeah but three out of the five of us can't drink so it's not fair."  Maggie replies. "Oh."

The kids walk inside. We're all in the game room. "Alright guys, I wanted to talk to you about tomorrow." They all sit down. "Okay." They say back. "Do you guys know what's happening tomorrow?" My boys nod their heads but the other ones say no. "Tomorrow I'm asking mom to marry me. I have special outfits for everyone to wear tomorrow that match mommy okay?" I state. "Am I wearing a suit?" Austin asks. "Yes the boys are wearing suits and the girls are going to wear dresses." I reply. They all nod. I smile. Leaning on a table I look up at the kids. "You all know I'm not trying to replace your dad and Meredith isn't replacing mom right? This just means we are one big family and that I love you guys very much." I ask. "Yes cormac we know." Zola says I smile. She had a little bit of an attitude but I didn't say anything because well we all know what's going on with her. "Okay I need you all to be really really good tomorrow. This is very important and if we can't be good, with manners and kind, you will stay home. Understood?" I ask. I get five nods back. "To bed please." I say in a dad tone. I think I scared my boys because the last time I was so serious like that was years ago. I'm very laid back and don't like to yell. I walk into Ellis and Zola's room. "Good night girls. I love you." I say. "Daddy?" Ellis calls. "Yes?" I ask. "Can I have a hug?" She asked. "Yes." I walk over to her bed and hug her. "I love you." She says. I smile still hugging her. "I love you too, get some rest okay?" I say and then walk to the door. "Good night Zola." I softly state. "Night" she whispers and then I close the door. I walk to the room the boys were staying in. "Good night boys." I say as I walk in. "Night dad." Austin and Liam respond. "Good night Bailey." I say. He is facing the wall and seems a little upset. I walk over and kneel on the floor by his bed. "Hey buddy." I say rubbing his back. He doesn't respond. "Whats wrong?" I ask. He rolls over to look at me. "Does mommy love you more then daddy?" He asks. I smile a little thinking about that. "No. No mommy doesn't love me more then your dad. I don't love mommy more than the boys mommy. I love mommy way way way more then anything and she loves me way way way more then anything but she will never love me more then your daddy. Okay?" I say as I look at Bailey. He nods. "Will I forget daddy?" Bailey asks. I want to hug him and cry because he was so cute and cared so much. "No, you will never forget daddy. Daddy is very very special." I hear the boys sniffle as I say this so I look back. Austin is crying. Who knew boys would be more sensitive. "Boys let me tell you something. I love Meredith but I love Abigail way more. My love for Meredith will never ever be more than my love for Abigail. Meredith loves me but she will never love me more then Derek. We love each other and that's why I'm asking her to marry me. Nothing is going to change for us. We will move in together and maybe a few other things but nothing is going to change. Liam, Austin, I love you more than Meredith, more than mom. You guys are my everything. Bailey mommy loves you more than anything. I love you more than anything and neither of us would want to hurt you. Okay?" I ask all three kids now. "Okay." Bailey says. I hug him and walk over to the bunk bed where the boys are. "I love you. I love mom. I love Meredith. In that order. You, mom, Meredith. Get some rest." I say giving them both a hug and then walking out. Shit this was hard. I should be nervous and excited but I'm sad and scared.

Cormac walks outside and comes to sit next to me. "Hey." I say. He stays kind of quite. "Hi." He says eventually. I grab his hand but he doesn't hold my hand back. I'm worried. "I need to go talk to Richard." He says standing up. "Oh okay." I reply confused. I look over to Maggie who is looking at Amelia with a "what was that about" kind of face. I watch Cormac walk over to Richard. It looks like Cormac is crying. What happened? Is he okay? I want so badly to get up walk over and hug him but it seemed like he needed some space. This vacation is going really well so far. I think sarcastically to myself. Maggie turns around to see Cormac and Amelia is already looking at him. Cormac throughs his hands in the air and then his head hose down. He is not okay. I see Richard put his hand on Cory's shoulder. Shit I think. Then Cormac hugs Richard which I was surprised by because Cormac doesn't hug people and neither does Richard. "Babe" I say standing up. "No mer. Let him be." Maggie says. I look at her with a why the hell would I do that face. I start to walk over to Cormac when suddenly he-