The Moon's Redamancy In Fall [Tsukishima x Yamaguchi]

twenty-nine.

Inspired by the song "The Beach" by The Neighbourhood.

❝Now I need your help with everything that I do
I don't want to lie, I've been relying on you

Fallin' again, I need a pick-me-up
I've been callin' you friend, I might need to give it up.❞

Yamaguchi

Tsukki and I sat on a bench just outside the room's terrace as we admired the stars together. He was holding a mug of coffee in his hands, slightly grazing on it to keep his icy hands warm.

The night came whispering sweet nothings, luring heat from tired muscles until Tsukki could rest no more. It caressed his skin until it stole the pink blush and replaced it with blue.

Above was the beauty of the stars, the clear night allowing the meagre heat of the day to leave unhindered. The only notion of brightness came from a full moon, and even his light was a chilled silver beam.

In that welcome amber glow the time of slower thoughts has arrived, those moments when with open eyes my brain becomes as a perfect empty horizon, seeing, yet content to sit.

I feel the soothing breeze, become absorbed in the music of crickets, letting the gentle energy of nature wash in.

Tsukki and I sat in silence. His eyes were closed and he haven't spoken to me that much ever since I arrived. Akiteru-san had passed out by the couch right after he showered. Kaori-san was still unconscious up until now, her heartbeat was slow.

"Damn, I'm so exhausted, I wanna go home," Tsukki sighed, completely breaking the silence without opening his eyes.

I licked my lips from drying due to the cold temperature before I speak, "You should sleep," I suggests.

Tsukki popped his other eye open to look at me, "What do you mean? You just got here,"

I shrugged, "So? It doesn't mean you can't sleep,"

"Yeah . . . But I wouldn't be able to talk to you when I'm asleep," He muttered, before pursing his lips together.

I felt my heart flutter, "You don't talk to me that much, anyway," I jeered, mockingly, forcing my eyes to roll, "Shut up, Yamaguchi," I imitated him with a gruff voice, like what he always do.

Tsukki lets out a tired chuckle before it went silent, again. I didn't want to ask him about Kaori-san. I was scared he would shut me out again. Like what he always do.

He breathe ever so deeply and letting it out slowly, Tsukki's chest heaving up and down in a slow manner, his body relaxing, "My mom could've died in that car accident," Tsukki sighed.

His voice sounded bored. As if he was revisiting the same pain like before.

"According to their investigation, she was having an argument with Akihiro through a phone call . . ." Every word stung only fueling the fire that burned inside of me, Tsukki gripped the mug slightly tighter.

The anger from Tsukki's eyes showed the scared child within, the boy who was taught to fight and starved of the love he craved. I could see the pain beneath it and his soul drowning in this persona he'd carved to fit a world of indifference. 

I'd never seen Tsukki sit like that, so deflated. His loose shoulders shook, his hands hanging low, making no attempt to conceal or even wipe away his own tears.

Aside from his reddened face he was so grey looking and his hair was as dishevelled as the park under fall leaves.

Tsukki took his glasses off and cried. Cried as if there was no longer tomorrow. It was more than crying, it was the kind of desolate sobbing that comes from a person drained of all hope.

He couldn't look at me straight in the eyes as his frame shook violently, I didn't know what to do but rub his slim back for comfort, I was already lost with words.

When he at last turned his face to me, he was a picture of grief, loss, devastation. It was the face of one who had suffered before and didn't know if he could do it again.

Then, just when I thought the breakthrough would come and Tsukki would trust me with his vulnerability, the shutters would come down, his emotion walled off behind a mask of coping.

Tsukki would just wear it until everything was right again, he didn't know another way.

"I-I fucking hate him, Yamaguchi, I hate him," Tsukki sobbed, rapidly wiping off the tears that were cascading down his cheeks, "He should be the one who's here, not my mom," His voice was already cracking into yells.

His voice was thick with anger and hatred. Hatred is such an abomination, a subversion of what should be good. I've never seen strong hatred towards someone except where love is betrayed or destroyed in some manner.

I didn't know what to do, I couldn't just watch Tsukki cry like this, and so I took him in my arms and hugged him ever so tightly, grazing on his back for comfort, "Tsukki . . . It's okay," I whispered.

I know, it's not. But it felt right to tell him that it'll be okay, as long as his mom is breathing and alive, and that I'm here.

"Please . . ." Tsukki sighed, he didn't mind wiping the tears anymore, he looked so tired, as my jacket started to dampen by his tears, "Please, Yamaguchi . . . D-Don't leave," He cried.

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AAAAA FILLER CHAPTER IM SORRY ITS SO SHORT ;-;
anyway, im running out of ideas, if ya'll want suggestions, pls drop it on the comments!! i'd be happy to read some suggestions :)