The Moon's Redamancy In Fall [Tsukishima x Yamaguchi]

thirty-six. (part 2)

Yamaguchi

"Are you sure you're okay?" Yachi-san held a cup in her hand, handing the cup of hot coffee to me, "Your mom might look for you," Her gaze held concern as she sat down next to me.

I gripped the towel tighter around me as I appreciately accepted the cup of coffee in my hands, "I'm okay, Yachi-san. It's just that . . . A lot had been going on recently and . . . I don't know, it's just really messy," I reluctantly answered, a sigh escaped my lips as I shivered under the towel.

Yachi-san and I decided to go to their house because I wanted to just clear my head for a few. After telling Yachi-san where I had been for two days and about what happened to Kaori-san, she understood everything.

I never told her about Tsukki or whatever happened in his house. I tried to shrug the thought of it but it kept creeping in me, as if it's not going anywhere anytime soon.

I vaguely remembered how Tsukki kissed me . . . and that I kissed him back, but the way our lips moved as if we already knew it was going to happen burned in my memory like a tattoo.

Each one washed away an unseen pain, a doubt, an angst. For the time our lips were locked together the world itself ceased to exist, blurred and indistinct as a wet painting left out in the torrent that fell from the dark cloud above.

When I pulled back Tsukki's eyes were like every fantasy I'd ever had of him, every moment I had wished could exist between the two of us.

The kiss, the look, a stolen moment that could have just washed away but instead was set, colour-fast, indelible that cannot be removed, washed away, or erased that easily.

Yachi-san shifted on her seat, breaking away my trail of thoughts, "I was worried because you never returned any of my texts, so I thought of visiting you a while ago," Yachi-san's utterance held a genuine agitation.

"I didn't really expect me to come across you on my way to your house," Yachi-san explained herself, as she started to twirl her hair.

I gave her a small smile, "It's okay, I'm sorry to worry you, my phone was dead for like two days and I didn't get to charge it,"

Yachi-san shook her head and smiled back, "It's okay, Yamaguchi-kun, I'm glad you're okay," She placed her hand over mine, her palm was soft and warm against my cold and freezing hands.

Lividness was obvious on her face, as she blushes with how our hands graze with each other. This is what I should want. This is normal. This is what my mother wants me to become. I'm normal. I love her. I love Yachi and that's it.

I should treat Tsukki nothing but a friend of mine. A childhood friend and that's it.

"Yachi-san . . ." I breathe, my eyes averting from her as I blinked, my mind pouring with thoughts after thoughts as I stared down on the carpeted floor.

Yachi-san studied my face and waited for me to speak again, I felt timorous and hesitant at first when I met her eyes. Yachi and I never confirmed what we have or what we see in each other, but we've been together and been doing whatever people in a relationship do for two weeks and I know that looking at her, I'm sure that I like her.

I like Yachi.

I convinced myself over and over again.

I gaze at her once more in a nonchalant manner, and then . . . kissed her. Her lips felt warm against mine. This would be the third time we would kiss, it wouldn't be that hard. Our lips met, soft lips on soft lips. For the briefest of seconds, those lips, hers and mine were tentative, unsure of what they might find.

I was searching for something.

Something that would make me feel the way Tsukki did. A spark. A light. Or something like the butterflies that used to dance in me.

I was searching, desperately in her lips, as I tried to deepen our kiss. With my eyes clenched shut, her warm breath felt like a summer breeze.

Her lips melted in mine, she uttered a delightful moan as my tongue played with hers, but I couldn't seem to mentally grasp this.

Where the hell is that feeling?

Where was that feeling of an explosion of the best flavors in the universe all at once mingling together and creating the best taste and sensation I've ever felt?

None.

It wasn't there.