Redamancy
(n.) the act
of loving
the one
who loves
you;
a love
returned
in full.
┌────── ・ 。゚★: *.☪ .* :☆゚. ─────┐
Inspired by the song ❝Fallingforyou❞ by The 1975
└────── ・ 。゚★: *.☪ .* :☆゚. ─────┘
❝You said someday we might,
When I'm close...
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Inspired by the song "Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby" by Cigarettes After Sex.
Yamaguchi
12:04 am
I checked my watch and sighed, my phone was already dead so I couldn't text or give my mom a call. I didn't even felt nervous, usually I'll be anxious about it, but tonight, I wasn't. I thought I'd worry about it in the morning.
All I cared about is being here . . . for Kaori-san . . . and Tsukki.
He needed me.
Just like what Yachi-san said.
"Kei, watch over mom, okay? I won't be long," Akiteru-san buttoned his coat before grabbing his bag, "I'll just get us clothes and then I'll be back as soon as possible," He wrapped a blue scarf around his neck twice, before glancing back to Tsukki as he quirked an eyebrow.
"What? You're overreacting, we'll be fine," Tsukki grumbled under his breath, before sinking further down the couch.
Akiteru-san peered over me and smiled, "Will you be okay to accompany Kei, Tadashi-kun?"
I beamed, "No problem, Akiteru-san," I nodded, sitting rigidly down the couch. I couldn't seem to relax because the room was really cold.
Not long, Akiteru-san left the room, and so as the quietness grows deeper and I hear my own steady rhythm from within, I call this silence. Silence is a fine tailor when your thoughts are silken thread, Tsukki seemed to calm down after a few minutes of crying.
He didn't want to talk about anything. He was tired and exhausted and I understand that. So, tonight, I won't push him.
"Yamaguchi," Tsukki's voice sent shivers down my spine as his voice seeps in my bones like cold water.
I blinked, "What?"
"Talk to me," He mumbled, still with his eyes closed, his breathing controlled and even.
I clasped my hands together and inhaled the cold air, "About what?"
Tsukki shrugged his shoulders before jutting his lower lip into a pout, "Anything,"
"Uh . . . About what?" I repeated my question.
I honestly didn't know what else to talk about. I didn't want to talk to him about things that would just frustrate him. I feel like I needed to be cautious because I didn't want to see him cry anymore. Let alone his mom being in a horrible car accident and his dad being an asshole.
"Have you kissed anyone?" He asked, his voice masked with boredom, making me scrunch up my nose, my face emitting heat.
What?
I stammered, "W-What? Why would you ask that?" I sighed in disbelief, chuckling nervously.
"Why?" Tsukki's lips curling into a smirk, "Is it because you already did?"
I quickly averted my eyes off of him, my eyebrows pulling down together as I shift on my seat uncomfortably, "N-No," I denied, pursing my lips together.
I hear Tsukki giggle, "You're so not good at lying,"
I grew frustrated, "Tsukki! Stop embarrassing me!" An exasperated sigh left my lips as I hit his thigh in a jokingly manner.
"Oh, so you have, huh?" His smirk turning into a wide grin, as if he was always ready to tease me all his life.
I rolled my eyes, "Well, have you kissed anyone, yet?" I emphasized the word 'you' to mock him.
I thought of Tsukki being embarassed but his expressions just recoiled into that smirk he always wore when he thinks highly of himself, "No, I haven't"
I blinked a few times, staring at him dumbfoundingly, he wasn't flinching as he stared back, "But I could kiss you, right now," He breathes slowly, Tsukki's brown, hazel eyes gazing down on my lips as I felt my skin tingle by how intense his stare was.
My heart leaped to my throat, I thought it stopped beating for a few seconds. I was staring at him, my eyes wide and I thought I was frozen with his words. My mind was blank but something in me craved Tsukki. A lot.
Tsukki laughed, completely breaking our eye contact, "I'm kidding! I can't believe you still fall for my jokes until now," He rolled his eyes, taking his phone on his hands, as he scrolled through it.
I blinked. I thought I felt embarrassed.
Yes, Tsukki. I fall for your jokes all the time, like how I, with you.
Crap.
[cue the song "Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby"]
Tsukki tapped his phone, as it played a soft music, the music fills the air without effort, "Do you remember when we used to dance when we were kids?"
I chuckled and bit my lower lip as I reminisce those childhood days with Tsukki. It felt like it was just yesterday, "Of course, I always thought about how bad you were for a dancer,"
The corners of Tsukki's lips curled into a smile, "Salty," He remarked.
"Like you," I teased.
"Shut up, Yamaguchi,"
"Sorry, Tsukki,"
Tsukki stood up from the couch and stretched his arms towards me, I stared at him with a perplexed expression as if he grew another head.
"Come on," He demands, shaking his hand forward, signaling me to hold his hand.
"What?" I asked him, still confused.
Tsukki bended over to take my wrist in his hand, "Dance with me," He coaxes.
I quirked an eyebrow at him, still confused with Tsukki's sudden Tsundere moment. I laughed, but mentally.
I rolled my eyes and obliged as I stood up from the couch, the soft music was playing on the background but as soon as I stood up, I felt frazzled, dizzy and nervous.
Tsukki's smirk turned into a gentle smile. The most gentle smile I've seen, and that I thought had been gone a long time ago, "You don't have to be nervous, it's just me," He whispered as if he could perfectly read my mind, taking my hand to interweave my fingers with his.
I thought I was dreaming.
I thought my body was floating.
I thought my head became lighter.
It felt like it was.
Is this what love really feels like?
I tried to mentally shrug it, but the feelings crept in me, as if it wasn't going to leave anytime soon. There was something about the vibrations that felt so heavenly, as if it were liquid energy seeping right through my skin.
The music spun around us lifting away gravity, I couldn't wipe off that stupid smile on my face. I felt so elated. So giddy and excited. Mixed up emotions stirred my insides.
The slow music twirled like thread around us. I rested my head of his chest, and let him sway my body around with the music, I heaved the scent of his jacket, it still smelled like strawberry yogurt and the hospital's sanitizer. I wonder why Tsukki's scent always smelled like home. It felt like home.
The soft strum of guitar came in, then the piano, and then the slow and sure beating of a drum.
"Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby, as long as you're with me, you'll be just fine, nothing's gonna hurt you, baby, nothing's gonna take you from my side,"
I think I love him.
I think, I think I want to be with him.
And the music slowed, and we met at the hands. I looked up into his soft golden, brown eyes, and cried.