The Moon's Redamancy In Fall [Tsukishima x Yamaguchi]

twelve.

Tsukishima

"What?" Tsukki's voice was already raising, as he speaks to his brother, Akiteru, through the phone.

Akiteru's voice was small, afraid of his own younger brother's violent reaction, "Calm down, mom already told me that dad'll be fine staying here for a while,"

Tsukki's nostrils flared in annoyance, "Dad? Akiteru, are you fucking kidding me? For all these years of him disappearing," He scoffed, disappointment obvious in his voice.

He couldn't believe that his mom and Akiteru forgave him and let it all pass as if nothing happened, so quickly. Tsukki's heart was racing, trying to surpress his anger to avoid losing his composure especially that they were in the middle of a practice.

His mom, Akiteru and him lived in peace ever since his dad left them without any explanation for ten years. Everything between his father and Tsukki was going all good when he was a child not until he turned six, when everything that his father had, his father's own family, all the memories they made, he left without hesitating.

Tsukki never knew the reason behind his father's disappearance, he lived his childhood without a father figure and claimed to himself that his father was dead a long time ago. The grudge against his own father lived within him until he reached his sixteen years of existence. He was afraid that someday, he would realize that he wouldn't be able to forgive him.

After hearing the news from Akiteru of his dad coming back to Miyagi made Tsukki felt overwhelmed. He didn't know exactly what to feel towards his dad. He was angry, confused, happy . . . Maybe even relieved that he knows his father was alive for all these years.

Tsukki ended the call right away, he didn't want to hear Akiteru's convincing speech. He held the phone on his side, gripping it as he stood outside their gym, flustered with flames of rage in him.

"Tsukki?" A soft voice from Yamaguchi by Tsukki's behind, follows, "Serving's up next, Coach Ukai-san's looking for y-" Yamaguchi paused as he stood there, his eyes trailing down at Tsukki's tightened clutch.

Tsukki's breathing became even as he hear Yamaguchi's comforting voice. He turned his back and saw Yamaguchi's head, peeking from behind the gym's door.

Yamaguchi's eyes shone in concern as his face recoiled in confusion, "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"Tch. You should stop sticking your nose in other people's businesses," Tsukki grumbled, striding to the entrace as he walked pass Yamaguchi.

Yamaguchi indeed felt like something was wrong, Tsukki seemed a lot more upset than he usually is, "Sorry, Tsukki," He whispered, looking down. He was sure that Tsukki would tell him anything that's been bothering him. Yamaguchi just knows.

Coach Ukai stood close by the door, "Tsukishima! You're up next!" He tossed a ball towards Tsukki, as he catched it in his free hands, gripping the ball on both his hands as he jogged towards the court.

His face looked stern. Unfocused. Bothered.

The other players; Ennoshita, Diachi and Kageyama formed a queue a little further beside where Tsukki stood, waiting for their turn to serve. Kiyoko blew her whistle, signaling Tsukki to ready himself for serving.

Tsukki took a deep breath, his visions bouncing back from blurry to clear, anger boiled deep in his system, as hot as lava. It churned within, hungry for destruction. Fires of fury and hatred were smoldering in the small narrowed eyes as he weighed the ball on his hand, with every ounce of his strength left in him, his palm connects with the ball, without holding back, the force of his hand hitting the ball made a loud thud, echoing around the gym.

The ball went straight, hitting the wall from the other side of the court, meaning, it was out. With his powerful, strong serve, he caught everyone's attention, looking at him, confusedly.

"Tsukishima-kun! That was a scary serve!" Hinata chirped, looking agitated and intimidated by Tsukki.

Tsukki was out of breath, his face flushed in red and he was already sweating. He bent over, holding both his thighs in exhaustion. It seemed like his bottled-up anger made him exhausted. He felt dizzy and started to feel a bit muzzy, a few minutes after, his face drains out of color.

He took a deep breath and let it out softly, "I'll be back," Tsukki had a stoic expression on his face, as he hurriedly went out of the gym.

Yamaguchi's heart was racing, with his nerve-wracking serve, it sent shivers down Yamaguchi's spine, seeing Tsukki's raw expressions of anger made Yamaguchi felt hesitant, he wanted to come with him but it felt like he needed to stay there and give him space. Tsukki absolutely did not look pleased with the idea of talking to anybody.

. . .

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

I just want to leave.

"Kei, party's not over,"

Akihiro placed four empty whiskey glass on the table and a bottle of Japanese saké. This night couldn't get any worst, can it?

I sucked on the inside of my left cheek, hard. Hard enough to make it bleed. If Yamaguchi wasn't here, I would most probably throw a fist on this old fucktard. He had been in my nerves ever since he's been here. Ever since he left us.

I never really wanted to talk about him, ever. But he had to show up, he really had to ruin every-fucking-thing. The only reason why I invited Yamaguchi is for my mom's sake. I didn't want Yamaguchi to see us like this. To be lying in front of him, pretending like everything's normal, pretending that he didn't left, pretending as if he had been there for us.

I didn't want Yamaguchi to see me lose my cool tonight, and so, I had to be on my best behavior. I couldn't honestly believe that my own mother is tolerating this bullshit. I didn't want to hurt her or ruin her birthday, so I guess I'll just play along.

My mom had been waiting for Akihiro for so long. For ten fucking years. She still didn't hesitate to have him here, again. For ten years, it had been hell for her. My mom hid it from Akiteru and I, but she wasn't able to keep away the fact that she had developed depression over the years after his husband abandoned her. She didn't want to tell us that she's sercretly been visiting her therapist and drinking sedatives.

I had to find out myself.

When I was around ten years old, I would always stay up all night just to listen to my mom weep. It continued until I was fifteen, that was when I found out that she was seeing a therapist and taking pills. I had to always keep an eye on my mom. I would always end up being worried sick, to the point that I wouldn't be able to sleep or eat properly. By my age of sixteen, this year, my mom had been able to keep up. She would only visit her tharapist once a week. She rarely had tears on her eyes anymore.

But this fucktard had to show up.

What if he'll leave, again? After years and years of getting my mom's shit together, he'll do it again.

Honestly, I couldn't be more scared. I couldn't be more scared that I start to think I might lose my mom, too.